


Live

by CallmeCat



Series: Only the Most Unfortunate [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Blood and Gore, Depression, F/F, F/M, Going off of Manga, Happy times, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Murder, POV Original Character, POV Third Person, Self-Hatred, Some Cannon Events, Violence, Violent Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-05-18 01:28:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5892844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallmeCat/pseuds/CallmeCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mallory Roe is out for revenge. She knows she can successfully achieve said revenge, but what she doesn't know is how it will affect her along her journey. Along with her partner, Ken Kaneki, she reaches her goals that were impossible to do as a mere human. What starts with a tragedy ends in a happy ending. </p><p>Or does it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Him

**Author's Note:**

> So this piece of writing is actually how I cope with what I go through/have gone through. Excuse my writing; I'm pretty new but I hope anyone who reads this enjoys it. I'm trying my best to incorporate subtle but meaningful messages into this work to help those of you who are possibly going through rough patches. 
> 
> Warning: very adult rated for gore and violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm fairly new at writing, but I write to share my ideas and encourage others to write no matter how poor it is. All that matter is if you enjoy it and your heart flutters at the thought of others enjoying your writing. Thank you so much

Young, love-drunk humans are so naive. They don't understand the _true_ meaning of love.

I wish someone had told me that before it was too late.

 

 

"It's this way. I used to drive through this neighborhood with my mother when I was learning to drive," I said dryly, pointing my finger up the empty, melancholy street. My partner and I navigated a once-special-to-me neighborhood of my early teens memories. Now I'm 19, basically considered a full fledged adult, but that no longer matters because I do what I want whenever I want. It's a rather crude way to live, but that's how you survive in cruel world. Only those who are willing to throw away their humanity and morals live through the hell thrown at them.

My partner, Ken Kaneki, was an average height, young Japanese man with snow white hair and a sleek muscular body. The story of how we met is rather unfortunate, but that no longer matters since the past cannot be altered. We were out for revenge; out to fuck up the entities of our pasts that fucked us up. Number one on my short hit list was my past and only boyfriend. My rapist. Abuser. Taker of my remaining childhood happiness. That _cowardly,_ cocksucking, manipulative piece of shit.

I knew what I was doing. I had done it too many times to feel any kind of fear. What had become of my life would remain the rest of my life, and if there were any things that I could do to make it less miserable then I would do it in the blink of an eye.

Kaneki and I had been jogging with muffled steps when he suddenly paused mid stride and turned his masked face toward me, tilting it slightly to the side.

"Just why are you targeting this guy?" The male ghoul stood still and leaned rigidly against an oak tree, eyeing me with a look that said 'tell me or we won't go on.' I sighed. It wasn't really fair to drag Kaneki all the way across the world, into a different fucking  _country,_ and not even tell him what my main motives were. 

So, giving into Kaneki's stubborn assertiveness, I lowered my personal wall and told him in a quiet, numb voice, "He raped me and tore me apart."

After a few moments of chilly silence, Kaneki nodded slowly in understanding, and we continued walking, almost jogging, up the dark deserted street. The night was cold and clear, stars ominously twinkling down at our poorly clothed bodies. Our breaths came out in cloudy puffs and disappeared after a couple of seconds.

The house I dreaded ever seeing again suddenly came into my enhanced perspective. I came to a halt. Kaneki glanced back at me curiously.

"This is it," I growled, voice deep with hatred and extreme disgust. I felt my right eye twitch into blood red and endless black. I turned my torso to Kaneki. My small, leather-clad hand assembled into a "come here" gesture and suddenly, in less that two seconds, Kaneki's left eye shifted into scarlet and midnight, and he launched himself towards me. His shiny bared teeth latched onto the meat of my thigh and a second later he was tearing into pure muscle. Blood covering his mouth as he moaned with delight.

Of course, it didn't hurt, or else I wouldn't have let it happen. All I felt was a small pinch, like getting a needle injected into my skin. After having our fingers and toes hacked off one by one and being raped dozens of times a day, pain had become a mere concept of the past. It simply did not, lets say, exist in our broken minds anymore. As a result, Kaneki and I fed off of each other when things got hairy or when shit was about to go down. It felt so good knowing that my fresh meat would supply my partner with the energy he needed.

I moaned and purred with delight, burying my hands into his thick, colorless hair. He stood up and hastily placed blood-stained lips onto mine. The strangely sweet flavor of my blood seeped into my mouth and my skin prickled with mirth. Kaneki's tongue harshly massaged mine and our teeth messily clashed together. 

I internally sighed as my fucked-up conscience pointed out that there was a more... appropriate time to get it on.

So I regretfully retreated, silently promising myself to resume later on.

It was now my turn for a midnight snack consisting of cannibalism.  

Although my leg was pulsing with blood and almost nonexistent pain, I set my focus on healing it. The burn of mending flesh tingled what nerves remained.

My stomach growled excitingly. Animalistic instincts drove me to perform some quite crazy acts, and at that moment my small vocal cords emitted a terrifying, blood curdling snarl. A fraction of a second later I found my mouth attached to Kaneki's muscular bicep. Hot blood pulsed into my mouth as soon as my sharp teeth penetrated his beautiful pale skin. Kaneki sighed delightedly, in the same euphoria-like state I was in moments before. 

Pain. Feeding someone their own life energy.

Feeling _something_ for once.

As I continued to tear into Kaneki's blood-spattered arm, he moaned quietly and ran long, thin fingers through my own multicolored hair. The small moan traveled easily to my sensitive ears, and I forced myself to come to a halt. Kaneki and I had a "mission" to carry out, and right now, that was more important to me than anything else. I needed my closure.

At once after I withdrew from Kaneki's arm the skin neatly began knitting together, repairing and replacing the damaged skin cells.

"Alright. The plan can be carried out once I disarm the security system. I'll fuck around with it for a while as you keep watch, Kaneki-kun." 

He nodded silently, bright scarlett kagune creeping out of his back with a wet sound. The sound still makes me cringe, eugh.

I quietly unzipped the zipper on my tattered black messenger bag and took out an extremely expensive (but very efficient) laptop I had stolen from some store that specialized in electronics. Hacking the security system of a small and simple house would be a piece of cake, considering the brand of said system was a cheap knockoff from the good shit. 

I mentally cracked my knuckles and got to work.

 

After a short half an hour I had easily taken down the shitty security system. I like challenges every once in a while. Sigh. What a disappointment. 

I turned to glance at Kaneki, who hadn't breathed a word since I started. "Got it. Piece of cake, to be honest. Let's go in through the front door and make it short and quick. The camera there," I pointed to a black object which was above the front door was and aimed away from us, "will catch us on video but, of course, we have our masks, so it's no big deal. It'll be fun, his parents and the police watching a piece of shit kid get kidnapped..." I went off excitedly, voice softly creeping into a whisper. Kaneki stared at me indifferently, but soon enough his mask twisted in a way that suggested he was smirking. 

"Always so cruel, Roe-chan..." He snickered. I grunted in acknowledgement.

The both of us silently approached the front door of the house. It was locked. Of fucking course. 

"Huh... What a bother. My hair looked good with these in...," I quietly complained as I yanked two bobby pins out of thick bi-colored hair.

The pins freely slid into the key hole. A small 'click' emitted from the knob once I hit its sweet spot. Thank god for the heightened sense of hearing that comes with being a creature made for consuming humans.

I silently opened the door and crept in. The house was warm with the scent of peacefully sleeping humans. Nostalgia washed over me, weighing my emotions down like gravity had increased all of the sudden.  _I don't have time for emotions right now, damn it._

Cursing quietly I led Kaneki to the small living room from where...  _his_ scent was flooding from. "He's an idiot... Sleeps in the living room for some reason." 

I hadn't smelled  _him_ since I was a naive, weak human. The familiar scent hit me like a giant gust of wind, and my mouth began watering profusely. Though I had my fill earlier, a low growl emitted from my abdomen. I mentally slapped myself in annoyance.

I easily spotted  _his_ lithe runners body spread out on a new-ish black leather couch. He was so unaware. So idiotic. So unknowing of what I had become. So fucking delicious smelling... yet so disgusting. Kaneki's presence lurked silently behind me as my mind became jumbled with past memories and vision of my younger, naive self interacting both appropriately and inappropriately with  _him._

"Let's do this in style, Kaneki-kun." I whispered curtly.

I approached the useless hunk of meat and leaned my masked face right in front of his, blood red right eye mere millimeters from peacefully closed ones. Our noses touched gently, yet he still lay sound asleep. How annoying.

"Wakey-wakey," I whispered in a venom-filled voice, like something you'd see in a horror movie. Kaneki chuckled softly behind me, a sound I've rarely heard from the white-haired Japanese man.

 _He_ jumped wide awake, startled and oozing an absolutely horrid fear scent. Before he could scream, I activated my kagune and smashed the back of his head. A loud, wet slapping sound came upon impact and I cursed myself for getting too... excited. 

Seconds later, Kaneki cursed as the sound of the movement of blankets and freaked movement reached our sensitive ears. Oops. I woke the parents up...

"Fuck! Let's scram. Daddy has a bunch of Q bullets and shit... possibly even a quinque. Vamanos." I harshly whispered to Kaneki. He nodded curtly and fled towards the front of the house. I was hot on his tail with  _him_ stuffed (probably very uncomfortably) in between multiple pulsing tenticles.

And out we, the eye patch duo of the 20th ward of Japan, fled into the chilly and unforgiving night, silent as pack of hunting wolves. 

I never looked back at that house.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously hope this piece turns out okay. I'm not one to usually keep things going for a long time, but I already have a part two planned out for this piece and I plan on sticking with it till the end. It might take years, but I'm ready to take it on! :D


	2. Tragedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback about a year before the current storyline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Mallory and Kaneki *cries silently* but I have some happy times planned for them in the future. I'm getting so attached to my OCs ahhhh this is unhealthy considering the nature of this fic

From the time I was able to understand that there were different languages besides English I had already made it my goal to learn as many as possible. My fascination with languages flowed along with the curiosity of different cultures and cities. Though it wouldn't get me anywhere in life I still persued my dreams. By the time I was 19 I had mastered Japanese and Spanish, my favorite languages with their sharp vowels and rolling Rs. 

A brat known as my brother mocked my language and culture fascinations. He claimed I was dissing my own, fracturing the bond I kept with what I grew up with. However, that was not the case. Cultures are all so different. One thing in one culture could be extremely inappropriate in another. I strove to respect and learn everything I could. It was my dream.

The first foreign country I wished to visit was Japan, with the bright city of Tokyo in mind. I had saved up enough money from jobs to go there for a week by the time I was nineteen. I was ecstatic, and my parents praised me for pursuing such an errotic but respectable dream. The brat sulked in the corner as I was smothered with goodbye hugs and kisses from my mother.

I tried my best to be confident as I strode around the streets of Tokyo. My bright hair and blue eyes earned me some confused stares, and some people even gave up a couple of minutes to converse with me. The looks of fascinated surprise from my fluent tongues were what fueled me to not be so shy. Yet even as there were amazing, kind people, there were also horrible, disrespectful ones, with their rotten insides covered up by candy-apple-sweet smiles.

I met Nakio in a small general store on the good side of town. His dyed blue hair shone with health, brown eyes kindly offering me help that I politely accepted. Nakio's voice was sweet as sugar and he was extremely handsome. Of course, me being me, I politely accepted his invite to go clubbing with his friend and her date. I blindly and stupidly put my trust in this man, of whom I didn't even know. Surely I paid for it.

Nakio picked me up at the hotel room I had been renting. Oh-so gentlemanly he walked arm and arm with me to the club where his friend and her date waited. The club building was small and simple, yet it was the kind where you'd see lots of good shit there, like an occasional bar fight or strip tease. Young people were scattered throughout the dance floor, drunkenly attempting to wiggle and waggle and execute whatever other kinds of dance moves existed. I would not be the one to know.

An average, awkward looking young man about my age sat alone in a booth, instantly catching my curiosity. His eyes darted from side to side like a scared fawn. It was obvious he had never been clubbing in his entire life, judging from the fact that he was dressed in a sweater vest and combed his hair neatly like a schoolboy. My heart clenched at the sight of this awkward mess, so I shyly approached him to ease my nice-person instincts. 

"Hi," I said shyly. "Um, do you mind if I sit with you?" I smiled sweetly, giving off the air of a polite young woman.

He awkwardly blushed bright red and his eyes went wide. After a moment he regained his previous less-awkward posture and smiled shyly. "Y-yeah... Of course. I've never been clubbing in my life, haha..." 

"I can see that. It's not as low key as you think it is," I beamed as I sat down across from him, Nakio following quietly. A flash of recognition crossed the blue-haired man's eyes and he grinned.

"Ahhhh, you're Kamishiro-chan's friend aren't you? I'm Nakio," he said politely.

"I'm Kaneki," squeaked awkward boy. "Rize sort of ditched me for the dance floor," Kaneki said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck with embarrassment. Right after the words left his mouth a young woman with pink/purple hair approached us, sweaty and panting, cheeks flushed with the flow of blood.

"Ahhhh Nakio-kun, is this your date? One piece of work if you tell me," Rize winked at me. I shivered. 

Nakio beamed, a creepy sort of glint in his brown eyes that I should have recognized. He took my hand and politely asked me to dance with him.

"Sorry... dancing isn't... um... my thing," I smiled shyly, crossing my arms underneath my breasts and placing my right hand over my heart.

"Well, then at least let me show you what alchohol in Japan is like," he said, grinning seductively, voice thick like syrup.

I stupidly fell for it as I hesitantly put my tiny hand into his and we headed for the bar.

 

Kaneki and I prudishly sat at the club booth, watching boredly as our dates danced the shit out of themselves. Unfortunately for me I had only downed three shots of Fireball and already my body was buzzing with drunken energy. Kaneki, of course, politely sipped at water while I rambled on about stupid people I've met and how much I wished natural selection would work its course faster.

"Hey... Kaneki-kun," I slurred, my mouth lazily forming the words to sound very ill accented. Kaneki chuckled lightly and turned his torso towards me.

"Yes, Roe-chan?"

Hiccup. "Let's leave this shit hole... I can't fucking dance. I'm white! Don't you see? This is a dilemma! Take me to your castle!" I ordered him. Face scrunched up in drunk determination, I pointed my finger at the raven-haired boy and poked his nose.

"We really should dismiss ourselves Roe-chan... I'll get Kamishiro-chan and Nakio-kun. Wait here," he said politely, grinning in amusement.

He came back with the two of them, uncomfortable and awkwardly hunched over. Rize stepped up cheerfully. How was she not dead on her feet already?

"Let's head to my place! It's decently large and we can crash there. I'll show the way!" She cheered as she skipped out of the club. Kaneki groaned and stared at me, helping my drunkenly floppy legs stand up and allowing me to lean on his weak, skinny form. "Thanks Kaneki-kun," I beamed drunkenly. A pink dusting washed over his place cheeks and he smiled shyly. "It's really nothing," he said.

Nakio and Rize walked up ahead, excitedly whispering to themselves. It was dark outside, and the air was chilly and damp. Wind would sometimes comb through my medium-length blonde hair, chilling my alchohol flushed body to the bone. 

"This waaaay!" Rize called, heading down a dark tunnel. If I wasn't drunk out of my mind I would have screamed for help. But all I did was giggle lazily as I leaned into Kaneki's sweater cladden form. 

Suddenly Rize and Nakio came to a halt and turned around. Their movements were predatorial, and, almost ferally, their mouths turned up in the corners to reveal bright, perfect teeth.

The scariest thing I remembered was their eyes.

The two pairs of eyes twitched into blood red and black, veins popping out on the sides. All I could see was Nakio and Rize's blood lust, their joy at successfully capturing two stupid little humans, one drunker than a dog and one weak and helpless. Kaneki screamed, the sound ripping through my pounding head as I fell to the damp concrete helplessly. 

I hit my head as I crumpled. Kaneki screamed again, and the vibrations of a heavy thud rattled my brain. The world slowly went fuzzy, and the last colors I saw as a human were red, purple, black and blue.

 

My eyes slowly blinked open to bright white fluorescent lights. As they adjusted, I turned my head to the left to be met with the worried gaze of a young man with messy jet black hair. Any memories I possessed of the incident slowly filled my mind, and my eyes went wide when I registered Kaneki's eyes as completely different from each other.

The right one was normal.

The left iris was blood red, the sclera never ending black. 

I tried my best to not panic. I mean, if Kaneki really was a ghoul, he would've eaten me before, right?? And had  _two_ monster eyes instead of one? For Kaneki's sake I remained calm and smiled falsely. 

"Hey... what happened?" I asked in a sweet, whispery voice, thick with sleep.

He cluelessly smiled and laughed a short joyful laugh. The moment only lasted a few seconds before suddenly his face became solemn, and he glued his different colored eyes to the tiled floor. Gut feeling told me what was coming.

"Rize-san and Nakio-san... They--they... Were ghouls. Tried to eat us. You first, but I tried to fight them," he paused. Immediately I knew he didn't do shit to them, as weak as he was. "It all happened so fast! I didn't know what to do, you were unconscious and bleeding on the ground, and they were looming over you like predators about to eat!" He was panicking, possibly about to have a panic attack. I put my hands on his shoulders gently and encouraged him to go on with a kind, calm smile.

"It's okay. Go on."

He regained his previous stature and continued. "I-I tried to fight them, but they were so strong. Nakio kicked me into a wall. I black out but right before I went unconscious there was a loud crashing sound and Rize-san and Nakio-san screamed." He finished with a somewhat thoughtful look on his cute face. "Aparently we underwent organ transplants because of the damage we received. Also, breakfast was earlier but... The food was awful. You were still asleep, Roe-chan." 

Though the gesture of him mentioning breakfast was thoughtful and sweet, my stomach seized up queasily and my mouth began to salivate the kind of saliva that's rather salty and signifies 'either get to a toilet or get a barf pan.' To be honest, I felt so full that it seemed I had eaten a large, satisfying steak dinner while unconscious. Stifling the urge to hurl, I focused my mind on Kaneki's eye, the organ transplant, and the fact that the food tasted bad to him. No... it couldn't be...

My eyes widened. I staggered out of the bed and dug around in some drawers in the small nightstand beside my bed. Gauze, band aids, cutips... eyepatches. Kaneki stared at me like I was a rabid dog as I handed him a cotton eye patch. "Put it on," I said. "We have to go. Gather your clothes and put them on."

"What? Why are you in such a hurry Roe-chan? We just had organ-"

"We are fine. Trust me. We have to go, Kaneki-kun. Take me to your place, please." I cut Kaneki's protesting off as my hands hurriedly shoved my now-clean belongings onto my body. Kaneki flushed awkwardly at watching me hop into my skin tight jeans. I pretended not to notice the bulge in between his legs and scrambled out of the sterile room, my body moving on its own. Kaneki's hand in mine, we hustled out of the hospital.

I felt my right eye twitch underneath the eye patch.

I knew it had changed, along with mine and Kaneki's bodies and choices in what's for dinner.

 

Kanou smiled smugly. The two young people that he operated on had been successful guinea pigs in creating artificial ghouls. He knew that the small girl had already figured out what Kanou did to their bodies. After all, she was extremely bright and had spot on observatory skills.

Mallory Roe and Kaneki Ken... part of an unfortunate tragedy that involved being turned into ghouls and not expecting it one bit. Their normal lives would be turned upside down and possibly go downhill from now on. Kanou could imagine them going crazy with their ghoulish hunger, their ghoul instincts taking over and devouring their humanity along with the internal organs of some unfortunate humans. 

For now, he'd leave them alone and monitor them every once in a while. He knows they'll be out for revenge on him one day. 

And that day couldn't come sooner.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter gave a little insight on what happened to these two (sin)ammon rolls.


	3. Sinful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mallory faces the nightmare of her past, though now she's the one in control of her own fate. Well, and his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter so I'm going to split it into two. Mallory is such a fun character to write with her huge potty mouth and awkward approach at personal conversations. I'm really loving her :3 btw the name Mallory is not random, neither is Samael. If you're curious go ahead and do some research ;)

"He's about to wake up. Masks on," I said to Kaneki as I slipped the cool, black leather over my face. Kaneki silently obeyed and mimicked my actions.

 _His_ breathing began to normalize, the previously deep breaths becoming more shallow. Right on queue  _he_ groaned soflty in pain and slowly blinked open dark eyes. Kaneki's face was less than an inch away from his.

"How's it goin sleeping beauty?" Kaneki said in a mocking voice, sneering. His voice was completely emotionless and monotone, accented English flowing from his covered mouth. _He_ yelped and shot a couple inches back, wary and fearful.

"What the hell is this? Is this some kind of prank? Carlos? Amgyne?"  _he_ , incorrectly if I may add, attempted to turn the current situation into what he'd rather it be. Anger surged through my veins at him assuming I was his god damn bitch.

I laughed sadistically and deepened my voice to conceal my identity. "Awww, poor baby. Got kidnapped by a pair of ghouls, and assumes its a prank from his friend and bitch. He's very wrong... Isn't he, Kaneki?"

"Hmph. Very wrong, I'd say," Kaneki smugly added.

"Let's just say... you'll be away from home for juuuust a little while," I snickered, cracking my fingers loudly with my thumb. Kaneki chuckled, amused at my cold and ruthless humor. 

"So, partner, what do you plan on doing with this moron? Don't tell me you want to torture him," Kaneki said in a bright, casual voice, in his home language.

"I'm going to fuck this kid up, that's for sure. For what its worth I'll have somewhat of a piece of mind. I'll dig through his mind and get some info regarding his bitch," I told Kaneki in Japanese. "But we'll have that bitch for dinner one night, and have this bastard watch while we devour her insides. I know she will be delicious. Long distance runner with perfect, tender muscles..." I trailed off in english so  _he_ would understand. Kaneki snorted in amusement at my brutal blood lust. 

A mixture of anger and extreme fear glinted in  _his_ eyes. He probably still had no idea why Kaneki and I kidnapped him. Realization hit me as I realized we hadn't introduced ourselves.

A smirk curved over my covered lips as I licked them. I chuckled blandly. "Ever heard of ghouls, kid?" I said in my deepened voice.

He nodded desperately.

"Today's your lucky day. You've now met two of 'em," I said as I twitched my eye into red and black.

He screamed, the sound piercing my sensitive eardrums and pounding in my head. Though no one would hear his pathetic ass, I still needed to shut him up. 

"Shut up," I said coldly as I slapped a cold hand against his pounding throat, his pulse beating with life against my skin. He stopped, tears filling his eyes. Meanwhile, Kaneki picked boredly at his black nails. He occasionally snickered randomly.

"Calm the fuck down kid. We're not gonna eat  _you_... Yet. Ya know, I have no morals. Except for one. Wanna know what that is?" 

He said nothing. I went on. "Rapists deserve to suffer. They don't even deserve death, as that's a gift. Killing you would be doing you a huge favor. I'm not interested in that. Now, let's have a sample of what rotten on the inside actually tastes like," I said as my kagune formed slimily out of my back, carefully not ripping my clothes. I teasingly left a tentacle against his clammy neck.

A gasp left his mouth as the tropical purple tip of my kagune drew scarlet blood. Though it was a small tricle, it was enough to get a good sample. Slowly I approached my blood red eye to meet his brown one and stared him in the eyes as my tongue slithered out of my mouth and licked at the pool of scarlet on his neck. The blood was disgusting. I retched as I pulled away and turned my torso towards Kaneki. 

"Eeugh, damn. Someone doesn't eat his veggies," I said sweetly. "Give it a taste, partner." 

Kaneki grunted in agreement. "Is it really that bad? I'll have to beat you if so..." He said, smirking as his tongue licked at scarlet.

"What the hell are you talking about?! This is quality!" Kaneki snapped playfully but serious at the same time. However, I already knew why the blood was only foul to me. 

"I'm about to spoil it. Step back," I said as I unzipped the mouth of my mask and approached  _him._  

And I stuck my thin, pale fingers down my throat, triggering the gag reflex. My stomach heaved up my previous meal, and I puked, vomited,  _hurled_ my guts all over him, covering him in half-digested Kaneki meat and. Once finished, I snapped my head up to look  _him_ in the eyes. "Ah... Sorry about that, sweet bun. You're a bit rotten on the inside, though."

 _He_ groaned, disgusted at my little gift to him. Was he seriously already giving up on life? There was no way I wasn't going to swing more at him. Emotional trauma is worse than anything physical could ever be. This guy... What a pain.

I clicked my tongue in annoyance. "Oi, Kaneki. This guys a pain in my ass and I'm getting bored. He's already run out of hope. We gotta force some info out of this cheeky bastard about the whereabouts of his bitch," I said boredly. Kaneki stared at me, lips twitching amusedly into a smirk. Everything I did or said amused him.

"To be quite honest, the best way to do this would just be to get her scent and surprise the poor motherfucker. Wouldn't it, Roe?" 

The look of surprise that would appear on  _his_ face really enticed me. Actually, to the point of where my skin prickled satisfyingly. Kaneki took notice of this and turned to the hopelessly dirty human behind him. He swiftly punched him in the back of the head and caught the body before it hit the cold concrete. 

"I got him. My responsibility," I said coldly. Kaneki silently handed his limp body over to me and I mounted him on my small back.  _It's also my responsibility to make sure this motherfucker loses his humanity, just like I did._

 

My wide knowledge of the area aided us in the picking of a remote location with few inhabitants and clean air along with my strong instincts. Not only were vehicles incredibly loud and unpleasant smelling, they obscured the peace that I so wished for only a night. Luckily I got what I wanted.

The area was quite large and mostly pine forest. Sweet with spice of pine needles, the air coolly breezed through my hair. I could hear the skittering of mice and rabbits as they searched for food in hollybushes, unafraid of our presence. 

Even with the miles and miles of cities and forests that Kaneki and I had crossed my body didn't tire once from the weight of  _his_ weak human body. It was like carrying a human sized backpack.

Lots of pros came with becoming a ghoul, but, of course, with something nice comes a price, depending on the person. There's the enhanced strength (if you train, just pointing out that Kaneki got the shit beat out of him by this dude named Nishiki because he didn't train AT ALL), the enhanced senses if you really work on them, the harder-than-steel skin, and, my favorite part, the grotesque-but-cool-as-fuck ghoul weapon: the kagune. Now, keep in mind that those are only the pros depending on the ghoulified person's point of view. Cons mostly outweigh the pros. Switching from human food to actual humans is the least of the unpleasancy. You have to blend in with the humans and can't let yourself be known as a ghoul. If you do, you're dead mean. Literally the CCG will take your kagune to make into a quinque to kill other ghouls with. Then you have the other ghouls to deal with. Besides the guys at Anteiku, most ghouls are territorial and mean little fuckers. And, well, to say the least, Kaneki and I separately found out the hard way and were mysteriously "saved" by Touka, who shoved the biceps of some dead guys down our throats. Then of course you have the part where the Manager recruited us to Anteiku. What fond memories.

Although I really wanted to kill the fucker I was carrying, I couldn't. Not because I was fond of him, no, but because of the plan I had previously strategically set up  _months_ before I was here breathing in the clean air of the countryside. And to add to that, there were even plan b's and c's, were something unexpected to pop up. But I was sure that Kaneki and I could successfully execute plan A.

To be simple, I wanted to torture Samael. I wanted so bad to play with his bloody internal organs while he screamed and writhed and his heart still beat frantically in his chest. Break his bones, one by one, makehimbegformercy, makehimwatchasikilledeveryoneheloved...  _What's one thousand minus seven, Samael?_

Laugher bubbled up in my chest. As soon as I could no longer contain it, the sound of maniachal giggling erupted from my vocal chords. My lungs pushed strongly, forcing air into my vocal chords, forcing the laughter that I could no longer control out of my body. I could distantly hear Kaneki's yells and pleas reach my ears. But in that sadistic, maniachal state of mind, nothing could be done as the centipede-like kagune burst from my middle back, spewing kakuhou slime on the lush plant life around me. I couldn't stop laughing.  _Icouldntstoplaughing._ Even after the sting of getting stabbed in the abdomen by a separate kagune. Even after getting punched in the face multiple times, each one bone-shattering.

I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of finally torturing the one who sucked my will to live out like a leech.

Until a strong, pale hand covered my mouth harshly and a familiar face with a shock of snow white hair forced its way into my sight. Mouth smothered, continued snorts of laughter quietly echoed through the forest. My favorite voice reached my ears.

"Roe. Look at me, please," the favorite voice said, words matching up with the pale pink lips in front of me. "What's your biggest fear, darling?"

The air stopped flowing in and out of my body. All I could hear was the harsh pounding of blood in my ears. All I could smell was my favorite scent. All I could feel were the arms that craddled me while I silently wept broken tears that flowed freely from my eyes. 

"Don't leave... Ken..." I croaked pathetically. Not even now was I fixed from an incident that happened five years ago. Not even now, when I was nineteen years old, crying lamely in the arms of a man I met and bonded with by coincidence.

Emotional and physical exhaustion finally kicked in, and as I collapsed into soft pine needles, my mother's voice echoed the last words she said to me.

_I love you, my moronic blonde._

 

The fresh scent of decaying underbrush tickled the sensitive hairs in my nose. I sneezed.

"You have quite a cute sneeze, Roe-chan," Kaneki's voice said somewhere near me. I blinked open my eyes and adjusted the exposed one to sunlight that filtered in through the top of the pine trees. The first things I noticed were the deep ache of my facial bones and the burn of healing on the inside of my stomach. I ignored it.

Kaneki had his long legs spread out on the ground, torso leaned against a thick tree. His usually angelic face was covered by the black of a leather mask, left eye exposed but normal. It stared softly at me, the crinkles of a smile present in the corners.

"Hmph, easy for you to say. To cut things short, I'm not even gonna ask about what happened last night. It's a pain, but we're short on time. Where's the creepy bastard that we kidnapped?" 

Kaneki chuckled lightly. "Always so blunt, Roe-chan. The fucker is over there, still out cold." He gestured about two yards to his left where an unconscious Samael lay. I grunted in acknowledgement. 

I rethought my previous plan, tweaking it in my mind. Maybe a surprise for Samael wouldn't be enough. I needed something else... Some kind of leverage, or threat to use against him to break down any kind of mental defense he has, and put images of horror in his head. Who else does he love dearly? 

Right as the idea popped into my mind I sauntered over to Samael's limp but alive body and roughly turned him over with a boot cladden foot. "Wake up, you creepy motherfucker," I said coldly. Samael's brown eyes blinked open, clouded with a mixture of sleep and pain. Before he could say anything I cut to the chase. "I'll make a deal with you, Samael-kun. You tell me where your little slut is, and I'll only torture and kill  _her_ in front of you. If you don't find that to be agreeable, there's an even bigger price."

He sat up heavily. "And what's that?"

"I'll find her anyways and torture her worse, adding in family members here and there. I mean, Henrik is after all only three months right? Pity you're only giving him that long to live... All uncle Samael's fault. So, sweet cakes... What will you give me?" 

Samael spit in my masked face, pissed off like a child. I smirked.

"I see... I'll be back with all of them." 

"N-no! Stop! I'll-I'll tell you where Amgyne is..." 

Hearing exactly what I wanted, I smiled. He begged. He begged in fear, trying to protect the people he love. Little did they know that he was secretly a sinful man full of lust, one of the seven deadly sins. My skin prickled in pleasure and I gestured for Kaneki to come to me. 

"Kiss me, Kaneki-kun," I demanded, and he obeyed without hesitation.

Though almost a full head taller than me, Kaneki easily tilted his head to meet mine. Our unzipped masks allowed soft lips to meet. Kaneki's lips were soft and angelic, a replica of what his snow white hair reminded me of. He nipped devilishly at my bottom lip, silently asking for permission to push further. I obliged, and soon we were biting at each others tongues, desperate to explore more, thirsting for each others' love.

All the while Samael watched, face crunched up in disgust.

Regretfully, my lips parted from Kaneki's. We had a plan to execute, more important than anything else right now. First, get info about Amgyne's whereabouts from Samael, and track her down and capture her. Proceed with the torture, and kill her. Then... Back to Japan. The trip finances would be easily taken care of by the extra cash Kaneki and I have racked up by doing side jobs and occasional pickpocketings. Bank robberies were too dangerous. We could easily get Samael a fake identity, or even (for the hell of it) dress him up in full drag with the fake ID. However, there was mine and Kaneki's mask situations, meaning we would have to reveal our identities to Samael. We might as well do it now.  _What a drag..._

I sighed, slightly irritated that this was not included in my genius plan for some reason. "Kaneki-kun."

"Yes?"

"I forgot to include the identity reveal in my plan, so it has to be done sometime soon. He can't do anything anyways, so..." I trailed off.

Kaneki glanced at me nonchalantly. "Of course. As long as you feel it's safe. I trust you, you know." 

"Right." 

Suddenly, Samael decided to pipe up. "Hey! What the flying fuck are you guys talking about?! Don't I have a right to know?!" 

Samaels eyes were gaunt and bloodshot as I glared into them.

My pent up anger at him suddenly burst from my mouth, forming cruel, venemous words that would have my mother cringing. "Shut the fuck up, you blonde fetishing little fucker. Now since you think that, maybe you do have a right to know! Which one dies?! Your mother or your father? Huh? How about I choose? I'll kill your father, considering he's more of a dangerous for to me than you or your mom will ever be. You're a cunt of a son, honestly. Weak, helpless. It's a pain to them, most likely. But its definitely a pain to me." 

It felt so good to say those abusive words, but by then fury was bubbling its way out of my skin pores and pumping harshly through my small but strong body. Samael cowered against a tree like a little mouse and I could hear his heart thrashing about his chest.

I continued. "We're already going to make a feast of your little girlfriend... You get to decide who else. Your decisions and actions determine your loved ones' fates, Samael. Now tell me... Where does Amgyne live?" I asked, voice poisonously sweet. Samael glanced to the ground, a lie about to crawl its way out of his mouth.

I slammed my booted foot against his neck, pinning him against the tree he was leaning on. The position was fairly familiar to me, having my flexible legs fixed onto a target much taller than I, arms easily lifted into a defense position. Samael gasped for air as I stared at him coldly. "Don't forget that I can hear and smell when you lie. Go on."

"...five...five...two..." He choked, "Sunning...vale drive..." 

As he was telling the truth, I roughly released his gasping form, and right away he began bawling. Fat tears slid down his defined cheeks. 

I didn't even feel one ounce of guilt.

I stared at him, chuckling. "Weak little fucker, arent'cha? That's hilarious~ Watch over him for me, Kaneki kun..." I kissed Kaneki goodbye and disappeared into the thick underbrush, predatory instincts kicking in and steering me towards my clueless prey.

 

Evening approached, the sun painting beautiful shadows of clouds thought the sky. I hadn't stopped running since I began, except for the small snack I caught around noon. Poor missing kid who was mostly likely never going to be found. I killed him quickly and painlessly, thanking the ruler of our world for the life of the child. I buried the bones neatly in a hole dug by myself. The soft, moist soil gave away easily to my strong arms and left its fresh scent under my pearly nails.

The sun had disappeared by the time my surrounding became somewhat familiar. Lucky internal GPS of being a predator. Since it was night and doves were most likely about, I crouched cautiously and jogged silently through the chilly air. Frosted grass crunched softly underneath my feet, the sound unable to be detected by human ears. My destination was about eight miles away, an easy jog that would take about fourty five minutes without obstacles. To be honest, my heart didn't sympathize one bit with the unfortunate Amgyne who was less than two hours away from facing the shitty reality of life.

I stopped in my tracks, realization hitting me like a punch in the stomach. Samael was kidnapped by me and Kaneki. I was about to kidnap his girlfriend and torture her right in front of him, take away his humanity and... Ship him off to Kanou for ghoulification. 

If he survives, that is.

But, that didn't matter. Was it right for me to torture an innocent girl? No, but I'm not a good person. Fuck that, I'm not even human, so it doesn't matter. I cursed myself for feeling regret. "Damn you... She deserves this... She does..." I growled to myself.

Except I wasn't by myself, apparently.

"So what the hell is half of the Japanese eyepatch duo doing  _here_?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos is always appreciated! So are kind suggestions!


	4. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to apologize in advance for this. My fighting scenes are inexperienced messes and I take full responsibility for editing in the future. Forgive meh plzz :3 This chapter will be some of Kaneki's POV and Mallory's, but I'll make sure I put a note when I switch. Enjoy!

_Something... Is off..._ Kaneki thought to himself as a wrench in his gut activated his instincts. Roe-chan had left that morning around eight a.m. and had many miles to travel to reach the goal. Kaneki planned on staying in the peaceful forest of sweet pines while he babysat Samael, but that thought seemed like a no-no at the moment. Though Roe-chan had left about an hour ago, something still wasn't right. Kaneki knew he could catch up to her before midnight, even with Samael as a human backpack.

"Shit..." Kaneki cursed quietly, dreading having to deal with Roe-chans silent anger that would be directed at him for not following her strategically made plan. Though she was a genius in the line of strategy and planning, even she made simple miscalculations that could result in the whole thing falling apart. Not to mention she charged head on into things right after her mind games.

"Your fuck-buddy in a bit of a pinch, dude?" Samael piped up, a smirk drawn on his handsome, deceitful face. Kaneki stared at him silently, uncaring about his snide remarks.

Kaneki decided to play with him for a while. His left eye twitched and Samael almost jumped out of his damp black shorts, eyes widened in fear. Kaneki smirked.

"I... Think you are in for a big surprise, you deceitful little bastard," he said in a toneless voice, face void of emotion. Secretely he thought to himself of the reason why Roe-chan dated this Samael. He was handsome, no doubt. Tall with tan skin and dark eyes that could melt if full of lust. Kaneki pushed the thoughts away and continued. "So, by the way, Samael-kun, are you aware of me and my partner's species?"

Samael sneered in disgust. "Ghouls? Of course. Fuckin' monsters with their creepy ass eyes. Never seen one of 'em until y'all popped up and fucked shit up." He passed, squinting in confusion. "But... Aren't they-"

Kaneki cut him off. The sharp words directed towards ghouls never bothered him, considering both he and Roe-chan used to be humans and simultaneously loathed the creatures; even now. "I heard your father owns special bullets. Well, Q-bullets, to be specific. Yes or no?"

"Well, yeah. Of course he does."

"Is he in the CCG?" 

"The hell is that? Naw man. He's a damn cop. I'm done talking about this. I have questions that I don't think your 'buddy' would answer," he looked up at Kaneki expectedly.

 _He's not a threat... I might as well._ "Ah... You're right about my partner. She's rather fiery, isn't she? Go ahead, but my mouth stays shut if its about her."

"Who the hell are you guys? Well, ghouls of course, but why kidnap me of all people in this world? And you're obviously not from around here, so what's up with you? Obviously your friend is from here, but..." Samael trailed off.

"I really can't say much, but you're right about me not being from here. I'm from Japan. My partner and I are known as the eyepatch duo over there. Pretty famous, actually. I can't tell you why we took you. My partner will tell you when she feels the time is right." 

Samael sighed, disappointed. "I'm hungry..." 

Roe-chans words were starting to rub off on Kaneki. He sighed. "You're a pain. Wait until we meet up with her, and we'll feed you. Hop on my back and we will reach her before midnight. And don't fucking complain or I'll knock you out again, bud."

"Tch. Yeah, yeah.."

 

                    Mallory's POV

I glared daggers at the tall man who stood before me. He wore the traditional dove garb, which really pissed me off. I crouched low, cautious, which caused his lengthy form to loom over me even more. He smirked arrogantly, pissing me off even more.

"Fuck off! This is a drag, man. I don't have time to deal with you," I snapped, feighning a Japanese accent to keep my American identity safe. The dove chuckled darkly.

"Sorry, but I have my own orders, and luckily i happened to run into a nice gem like you, which means a large bonus on my paycheck! Though unfortunately, your partner will be missing you after tonight." 

"So, shall we?" 

My kagune had already burst from my back defensively, ready to attack and defend as I commanded. 

"How pretty... Now I want you even more for a quinque! How about it, little thing?" The dove yelled excitedly as he clicked his quinque into action and ran at me heavily. So he was a power type, huh...

"Creep," I grumbled as I blocked a weak stab from the dove. He jumped back quickly before a split tentacle could inflict damage. So he was warming up and analyzing my technique, now...

It was my turn to read his defenses. I sprinted towards the tall man, carefully watching his eye and body movements. It seemed that he was left handed, which meant that the right side of his back would be an easy target it I could distract the hand holding the quinque. I lunged a tentacle, aiming for the mans left leg. He blocked it with ease and landed a hit to my shoulder with his sword like quinque.

Stinging pain flared at the wound and I knew it would take longer to heal. While my attack had simply been a diversion, this guy managed to land a hit on me right after blocking.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath.

"You're a small one, ya know," the man said. "But you do have guts, and I'll acknowledge that." Running towards me with his quinque drawn back, the man swiped multiple times as he aimed for my head. "I'll call you 'Little One'. How about that?" 

"Fuck yourself, dickwad." 

Suddenly the man appeared right in front of me. How was this possible? He was so slow in the beginning! Yet, that could have been a simple façade, taking in the false, square-like movements he deceived me with. The sword-like quinque jabbed small but painful stab wounds where I failed to defend myself. Consecutive attacks launched towards me, barely missing my vital points by a hair. I managed to crouch low enough and roll to the right, but in the process lost my balance. A sharp pain flared on my hand--that was no longer there. "Oh." 

"Damn right 'oh', Little One! You're garbage, aren'tcha?" Big Guy, as I decided to call him, cackled loudly. 

"I don't need my hands to fight, moron," I said. My stamina, though roughed up, still held my small body up strongly. Adrenaline and pride surged through me. _Hands grow back but heads don't,_  I thought to myself. Before attacking thoughtlessly I calmly thought of a plan that could not only keep myself from getting injured even further, but simutaneously disarm the motherfucker.

That was it. The quinque. I had to break it somehow without getting my head chopped off. From the way the man wielded it, it was medium in strength but lightweighted, meaning it lacked any kind of extra defense and was easy to break. The hilt of the quinque sword was regular metal, easy to shatter with my kagune, and once it was destroyed it could most likely no longer be wielded properly.

Only about two seconds had passed before I had already cleverly thought of a decent plan while I was in action without any team mates to defend me. The dove breathed heavily, though he was still smirking like a moron. He was becoming so cocky to the point that the large hand that held the hilt of the quinque loosened its grip. Right as I spotted that weakness, my kagune, almost invisible with speed, shot forth and smashed the weak metal hilt to smithereens. 

"You bitch! I'll fucking have that head of yours on a pole after I'm done with y-"

Big Guy didn't have time to finish his sentence as I leaped high into the air and smashed my heel into the back of his head, killing him instantly. His skull was indented, and shattered bone littered the deadly wound. Big Guy fell to the ground with a heavy thud, blood pooling around his lifeless form.

"Jesus fuck...," I panted to myself. My right hand probably was already regenerating back. It was creepy, really. Like I was a damn lizard or some shit.

Kaneki would have laughed at that joke.

Suddenly two sets of footsteps crunched in the frozen grass behind me. Fuck. Big Guy must have called back up in those two seconds of strategic planning. Crouching ferally, I readied myself for a combo attack. Right before I pounced on the intruders, Kaneki's sweet scent flooded my mouth and I quickly ankored my kagune into the ground to come to a halt, as it would've been impossible to do in midair. 

"Don't fucking sneak up on me, moron Kaneki-kun," I growled as Kaneki's snow-white hair peeped out brightly from shadows. Samael slouched silently behind him, staring in horror at the body of the dove. 

"I knew something wasn't right but I guess I should have more faith in you, Roe-chan," Kaneki said cheerfully. 

"Tch. The guy was a pain, really. Not only did he slow me down, but he also took my hand off. Creepy son of a bitch." 

"What the fuck? Is your hand growing back?" Samael screamed girlishly. I snickered.

"Heh. Yeah. Its like I'm a damn lizard or some shit. Creepy, really. But useful in situations like this," I smirked.

Kaneki chuckled lightly. I knew he'd like that joke. Another one popped into my mind.

I glanced down at my regenerating stump of a hand. " I guess you could say... I need a hand."

At that, even Samael snickered lightly, but it was nothing compared to the loud snorts from Kaneki that resonated throughout the clearing. His body writhed hilariously on the ground, arms clutching at his stomach. I couldn't help but think of him like he was an adorable kitten. Fuck me.

"Ahah... This is great, but we still gotta bury this fucker and his quinque. Call him Big Guy. I can get to Amgyne's house before dawn if we hurry." 

 

Big Guy was easy to stuff into a small hole that Kaneki and I dug into the soft ground. We smashed the quinque to dust and poured it on his corpse while Samel silently leaned against a tree as he observed our obvious experience in the process. After a rough pat down on the soil, I stood up straight, popping joints and tendons on the way up. 

"Ahhhhh, I love that feeling of when you're stretching and you get multiple popped bones in the process," I said as I yawned. Samael 'tched' while Kaneki mimicked my actions, emitting multiple pops and cracks along with a loud, euphoric moan. 

I was glad I had no dick to let the world know that the noise emitted from Kaneki's mouth was quite possibly the hottest sound I've ever heard out of a guy. It even surpassed adorable purrs of girls with their high pitched moans. 

The fuck is wrong with me.

I cleared my throat, relieved that a mask concealed my probably-red face. "Unfortunately it's necessary to conceal our scent because the CCG over here has tracking dogs. Piss on the grave and let's scram using the trees. Fuckin' monkeys, Jesus Christ..." I grumbled. 

And up into the trees we went, leaping easily from branch to branch, kagunes pulsing with life. Though it was simple to easily hop or swing from one to another, the natural ghoul weapons made balancing easier, not to mention swinging my small frame around easily to perform occasional tricks to show off my feminine flexibility.

Meanwhile, Kaneki was stuck with a very angry and very unpleasant looking Samael, who hung uncomfortably from one of his bright red tentacles. Bumps and interruptions in Kaneki's movements would rebound up to his still form and, if possible, he would become even more angry and unpleasant angry. Yet Samael hasn't even complained once. Time for me to insert a sneery comment. 

"Samael is being a good boy, isn't he Kaneki," I sneered. 

Kaneki grunted in agreement, probably more exhausted than I'll ever be in a lifetime. While it was true that I had enormous stamina and speed, I lacked the kind of strength that Kaneki certainly did not. So basically Kaneki lacked stamina and I lacked strength, but speed was something that one of us will never be able to surpass the other on. We were equals in that field.

It was exhilarating, speeding through a forest in the country. To be free, strong and unbothered with chilly air whipping through my long hair and filtering through damp and sweaty clothing. 

We had been going on for about an hour when my autopilot suddenly turned off and a loud groan errupted from my abdomen. The last thing I'd eaten was the snack from hours ago, but regeneration took a lot of energy and a small snack certainly wasn't going to be enough to keep my body going. Additionally, I defied the one-body-per-month speculation. For unknown reasons I could only go two weeks living off of one corpse before loosing myself to ghoul hunger. Unfortunately Kaneki and I found that out the hard way when he walked in on me eating myself. Ten out of ten don't reccomend it.

Coming to a halt, I landed on a thick branch about twenty something feet above the ground. Kaneki and Samael landed on a smaller tree to my left. Though Kaneki was panting with exhaustion, a determined glint still shone in his uncovered eye, along with a dash of worry.

"Are you alright?" He questioned carefully.

"Yeah... Just a tad bit starving. It probably wasn't a good idea to throw up all over that moron..."

Kaneki glared at me. "Duh. Idiot." He leaped onto the branch that I squatted weakly on, Samael grunting on impact. Then, taking his arm out of the sleve of his black hoodie, Kaneki stuck a pale, muscular arm inches away from my face. His sweet, irresistible scent made my stomach plead loudly.

I nodded, unzipping my mask.

Meanwhile, Samael took a slight interest to our surroundings as he hung limply from a scarlet tentacle. But, of course, he got distracted by the sound of tearing flesh and watched wide-eyed as I took a bloody chunk of muscle out of Kaneki's forearm.

"Holy Mother Teresa what the flying  _fuck_ are you doing-" he screamed in a girlish voice as the retching of his abdominal muscles quickly cut his cursing short, attempting to bring up whatever remained in his stomach. A pathetic amount of gooey yellow slime rained to the ground. And that was it.

I licked my lips slowly as I finished my snack. "Ahhhh... Thank you, Kaneki-kun." Kaneki grunted in reply, his bloody skin knitting together neatly.

My activated kakugan twitched away, blue and yellow taking its place and glancing at Samael.

"Unfortunately we gotta feed him," I said quietly to Kaneki in English. "Poor guy had nothing to squeeze out, and he is human after all."

Kaneki nodded thoughtfully, crossing his arms. "Yeah. I can catch him something while you fetch the girl."

"Yes." I looked around at our surroundings carefully. An internal compass led me to the north, where my target's house was located. Concentrating on my sense of smell, I began to sniff the air, tracking the nearest city north. She had to be there. "There's a city this way. I'm five hundred percent sure she lives there. Let's go."

 

Sunning Vale drive. What a stupid name, with its numerous syllables and fancy ring to it, not to mention the giant houses that lay on the opposite side of the brand-new street. It was troublesome and really lame. Sigh.

Kaneki had to hold Samael back (with ease) as he grew some balls and (for the first time since we caught the moron) attempted to fight back in vain. Yet I don't blame him, considering we were kidnappings his lover and, later on, torturing her to death in front of him. That, however, will be his lesson in 'shit happens,' since he gave me mine so damn early in my life.

The bitch didn't even have a home security system. I mean, like really? What the hell is wrong with you if you don't even have motion sensors that simply turn your porch lights on? Of course, instead of thanking god that no pain-in-the-ass alarm would temporarily deafen me, the only thing I focused on was the idiocy of this family. I easily stalked into the practical mansion after picking the useless lock. Amgyne's young scent naturally distinguished from her obviously-old (and probably leather looking) parents. One of 'em had cancer, considering the moldiness smell of one scent, and the other was probably fucking obese. Sigh. Security systemless and unhealthy. And almost daughterless.

 With Amgyne's scent came a hint of Samael, a sign of her unfortunate association with him that marked her as cursed. Both by him and I. I now held her fate in my hands. 

My ultimate goal was not to kill anybody. Revenge burned brightly in my ice eyes even four years after the incident. All I had been thinking about was revenge. All I had been thinking about were thousands of strategies, plans, possible outcomes, possible encounters, haunting my hour long bouts of sleep. And now here I was, securing the fire of revenge and giving it even more wood to consume.

The thought of dragging every wisp of soul left in Samael's body was all that kept me going. Being cruel was about the only thing I enjoyed those days. What would I do after I succeeded? Dying didn't sound bad. Neither did prostitution, or even getting turned into a quinque. 

But before I die, I at least need to see mom and Baby again.

A second had passed before I progressed further into the spotless mansion. Expensive China littered ugly shelves that lined colorless walls. Along with pretty but most-likely-uncomfortable furniture, the entire living room was like a town that people just decided to get up and leave. No pictures framed the walls or sat cutely on decorative tables. No warm colored wood lined any part of the room. The entire room was like the color of someone's face when the blood drained out.

I shivered and stalked on. Even the rest of the house was the same chalky, lifeless white. Even the fucking stairwell that was littered with the scents of three humans and two cats. I followed the freshest scent that belonged to Amgyne down the dead hallway. A cutesy nightlight glowed softly in between two different doors, where snores of old people resonated behind. Of course her parents slept separately. They were old and probably hated each other after being together for five hundred years. Amgyne's room seemed to be on the opposite side, the very last door at the end of the glowing hallway. Lucky for me, the flooring was soft carpet and my feet gracefully made absolutely no noise. Though still cautious, I crouched on all four limbs as I approached the last room. 

I silently opened the door and peeped inside using a mirror in case the bitch was awake. She wasn't. She was breathing deeply, eyes twitching with bright dreams. However, the poor soul would be waking up to a nightmare.

Soft light glowed from open blinds in the window beside the fucking king-sized bed. Amgyne's room was full of life, a lush green wall with pictures of her and Samael scattered messily on the walls like she didn't give a damn. I growled to myself as my eyeball adjusted harshly to the light that glowed through the open blinds. Fucking hate light. I shook my head, reminding myself to stop gawking stupidly at ugly pictures and fucking kidnap the bitch already. By now I've kidnapped humans too many times to be able to count with my fingers. Humans' senses are so dull and feeble. Their minds constantly tricked into illusions that makes them believe that they're safe when, on the contrary, they are very much in danger. From my kind... The ghouls.

My kagune silently slithered to life as my crawling form stealthily approached the giant bed. Amgyne lay snoring in the middle with her mouth drooling and dirty blonde hair in frizzy loops. I commanded my kagune the wrap suffocatingly tight around her thin neck, efficiently cutting off the air needed to create obnoxious noises. She woke up kicking violently, thrashing about under warm blankets until, purple faced, she passed out quietly. 

"Nighty night, precious," I whispered as her consciousness drifted out and her body stilled.

I slung her thin body over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Her limbs were thin and stringy, and I wondered if she'd quit running, for barely any muscle or curve remained on her body. That didn't mean I wouldn't eat her, though. I still wished to devour her along with Samael's humanity and soul. However, a life is a life, and killing uselessely went against my morals. She will die to feed Kaneki and I.

I silently rolled the blinds up and unlatched the window. It soundlessly opened, allowing a chilly breeze to swoop through my long, blonde-white hair. Amgyne slung over my shoulder, I leaped from two stories and landed lightly on lush grass, sprinting to my heart's content towards Kaneki's waiting form in the pine forest.

 

               Kaneki's POV 

"Shut up and sit still. Don't forget that you're in this situation because of yourself," Kaneki emotionlessly reminded Samael.

Samael growled in irritated protest. "I don't fucking know either of you. How in the hell would a bunch of monsters like you guys know about  _my_ past?"

Kaneki remained loyally silent as he waited for Roe-chan to return. Samael was a pest, but nothing could be done about it. 

All of the sudden, Samael's fiery anger simmered down to chilly suspicion. His face frowned thoughtfully, as if he was solving a difficult issue. "...I take that back. I definitely don't know  _you._ However, the possibility of your friend being someone I know or knew certainly exists..." He said quietly, partly to himself.

Once again, Kaneki remained stoicly silent. But not without observing the scary analytical intelligence that Samael quite possibly possessed. 

The sound of weight dropping from one branch to another alerted Kaneki's senses. Before he could react, Roe-chan's small body, with a girl slumped over her back, landed right in front of him soundlessly. 

Samael screamed.

"No! Fuck you! Why won't you just kill me instead?! Let her live! Please... If you're after me, then kill me... Please..." He sobbed.

Roe-chan stared at him emotionlessly with her visible ghoul eye, head completely still. 

"I'm not one to repeat my words, trash. I'll kill you though... On the inside."

Kaneki could see the fire raging in Roe-chan's eye. What she has waited for for  _years_ was now within her reach. Kaneki knew she had been reliving her traumatic past incidents with Samael every night, only sleeping for a single hour before cleaning up, getting dressed and stalking off to think even more about who-the-hell-knows-what.

Roe-chan dumped the skinny girl off of her muscular but small form and brought a (complete) hand up to her masked face. Was she about to...

Just as Kaneki had predicted, her delicate fingers unhooked the strap that attached two sides of the mask horizontally across the top of her forehead. The mask drooped to her neck, where it was still joined, and revealed her smooth face, high cheekbones, pale pink lips, and two eyes that were completely opposite colored. 

She smiled hauntingly, revealing perfectly straight and perfectly white teeth with almost fang-like canines.

Samael stood paralyzed. Two tears slid down his cheeks before dropping down to stain his shirt. None more came afterwards. 

A few more moments passed before he opened his mouth and managed to croak one studdered word. "M-Mallory...?"

"Do tell me, Sammy... Did you miss me even once throughout these four, long years?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to refer to Mallory as Roe-chan from Kaneki's POV but if anyone has any questions do feel free to comment and I promise to answer :D


	5. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did Mallory and Samael meet? What exactly is Mallory going to do with his lover?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: very graphic, very violent. Read at your own discretion. Also, emotional and physical abuse are present in this chapter.

Being naive as hell is a one-way trip to a world where all you know is pain. It's better to just rip the band-aid off quickly rather than suffer the prickling pain as it slowly pulls at skin.

I learned that the hard way, of course.

Samael and I met at the young age of thirteen, the age where you think you're an adult just because of the 'teen' at the end of 'thirt.' We had history class together, and as I shyly walked into the small classroom I could feel his gaze burning intensely into the back of my neck. I ignored it for as long as possible until Samael internet-stalked me and messaged my lame Facebook profile. But stupid, naive, thirteen-year-old me couldn't ignore the fact that a boy was chasing after her for the first time in her life. So she took the opportunity.

For two and a half months we 'dated.' I fell easily to those soft brown eyes that accompanied a handsome face, tan skin and an athletic body, lithe and muscular. But I wasn't the only one. Beth was her name, with ginger hair, blue eyes, pale skin, and a body thinner than I would ever be. Samael threw me away like trash. However, that was only a small taste of what was to come six years later.

Months of hating the world went by until, during a particularly humid summer, Samael begged for me back. Gut instinct screamed 'no!' in anger, but desperation for love screamed louder, drowning out the other. Reunited, Samael and I began a fresh relationship that turned to hell soon after eighth grade started. Poor decisions on my behalf triggered Samael's hidden anger. He found out and became a whole different person. Those warm brown eyes became cold orbs of mud that glared at me like I was the scum of the earth. I didn't understand why he screamed at me for wearing my favorite pair of jeans, colorful v-necks accompanying them. I didn't understand why he glared harshly at every human male that set their eyes on me. He even threatened to beat someone up right in front of me while I could only hide my face in sad embarrassment. 

"You look like a fucking slut," he once said. "Your tits are basically hanging out." And with no one around, he'd shove me into the biting metal of an old locker. 

I was too broken inside to cry.

Then he would spit in my face, ruining what little makeup I was 'allowed' to wear, and angrily tear off his sweatshirt, pushing it into my small, weak arms. And I'd silently put it on, wondering how my breasts could be hanging out when I barely had any. I was thirteen.

"Don't fucking take it off, Mallory. I'll leave you and tell everyone about what you did that one time," he threatened with a voice of posion.

But the monster never went through with his weak threats. 

However, I never learned that until long afterwards.

 

"Were... You a ghoul the entire time...?" Samael asked stupidly in a shocked voice.

I glanced at Kaneki, silently asking for permission to discuss a subject that we considered tabooed. He nodded subtly, just enough of a movement for me to be able to see. Knowing he hated the topic as much as I did, I stared softly into his quiet, melancholy grey eyes (Kaneki had taken his mask off soon after me) and offered a small smile. Small, but legitimate, giving him a glance at my pearly white, perfectly straight teeth.

The soft upward curve of his lips along with the crinkles of his eye corners told me more than enough. For once it was genuine. Beautiful, even. Kaneki showing his soft side reminded me of the beauty of the world, something I rarely ever thought about.

I unconsciously twirled a lock of my long, wavy, bi-colored hair. It was a subtle habit I've possessed for years to occupy my hands while my heart fluttered uncontrollably in my chest. However, now was not the time to let emotions cloud my judgment or mission. My confession of feelings to Kaneki could wait. 

I spun around to face Samael, face stoic. One eye cold ice, one burning fire. Samael hadn't moved an inch for who knows how long.

"I ate lunch with you every day in eighth grade, moron," I said boredly. "You literally shoved cookies in my mouth every fucking day and watched me swallow them. Ghouls can't eat human food."

"Then--wait... Huh? So you  _became_ a ghoul?" Samael slowly put pieces of the puzzle together, nervously picking at his nails. The sound poked annoyingly at my eardrums, but I continued, attempting to be brief on the issue while not loosing my temper for the sake of his dumb ass.

"A doctor sewed ghoul organs into me." I glanced a Kaneki. He was silently watching Amgyne's pathetic form, mind wandering. "Kaneki went through the same thing with me. However, you are to address him by Ken."

"Okay, but..." Samael's walnut brain was still somehow confused.

I cracked my fingers irritably while my teeth grinded painfully. "Kaneki-kun. I have been talking to this fucking moron for only a minute and I already want to claw my eyes out," I growled, the foreign language's Rs rolling angrily out of my mouth. 

Kaneki chuckled lightly. "I'll take the rest from here, Roe-chan."

I sighed, relieved. Kaneki had better social skills than I. He knew in which situations to be cruel or sweet... Unlike me. There was just no difference to my impatient, fiery self.

Kaneki gently approached the confused Samel, though his eyes were emotionless.

"Listen, please. Mallory and I met through some 'friends.' Went what you would call 'clubbing.' Our 'friends' were ghouls without our knowledge and purposely got Mallory drunk because they knew she was smart as hell and would call them out. When Mallory drunkenly requested that I take her to my apartment, Rize and Nakio, our 'friends,' cleverly led us into a dark alleyway and attacked." Kaneki paused, looking down somberly at his feet. "That's the gist of it."

"So they tried to eat y'all...?" Samael trailed off. "Mallory-" He said as he stared at me with the shine of pity in mud eyes. In a flash my bright kagune shot out of my back and a split tentacle slapped loudly over his mouth. Samael was about to say two meaningless words that I despised precisely because of _him_. I couldn't deal with people who pitied me with soft emotions in their hearts. Enough shit was laid out on my plate and I wasn't about to be forced to choke down another bout of emotion.

"Don't fucking say it," I said coldly, fury freezing my voice to ice. Samael glanced sadly over at Amgyne's still, pathetic form. I had almost forgotten about her being here. Though I desperately wished to kill Samael's soul, remorse still surged through me, crumbling the walls I had put up. I _felt._ I, for the first time in almost a year, felt something real. It was guilty sadness. Guilty, because I'd willingly let my humanity go. Sadness, because I was still about to kill an innocent person just to feed my own useless, tragic being. I've committed so many sins in such a short span of time that hell was probably a simple step downstairs. 

"You're fucking lucky, cunt," I said to Samael. He seemed confused, even slightly dazed, not possessing the knowledge of why luck shone brightly on his side at that moment.

Amgyne's screams of pain wouldn't reach his ears. In fact, there wouldnt be any yelps of torture. She would scream out of fear. I decided not to further become a monster and would simply kill her painlessly for my own life. I was becoming soft.

The thought triggered even more self-hatred, if that was even possible by then.

First thing's first though. The bitch needed to wake the hell up. I strode over to where Amgyne lay unconsciously and wrtched her pathetic form up my the frizzy locks of hair that thinly ghosted over her scalp. Satisfaction still flooded through my body knowing that I was about to take a life. Blood would slide all over my small hands, slick and euphoric. Later would come the scream of fear that would force its way up and out of the human's dry throat. And then, finally, the death blow, which was usually so damn satisfying that I'd scream with pleasure... 

I pulled a quinque steel knife (made by Kanou) out of my black sidebag. As a bonus it was even made out of my own kakuhou and pulsed coolly with blue and purple.

"Wake up, bitch," I said roughly as the hand gripping Amgyne's messy hair shook roughly from side to side. There were bruises on her neck from my strangling her, fresh and purple. She blinked awake and screamed a scream of pure terror that quite possibly ruptured my eardrums.

I stared Samael right in the eyes as the other hand holding the bright knife slithered next to his lover's throat and made a quick, soundless slash right on the jugular. His mouth opened to cry out, but before sound even activated I smiled ferally.

Then the sound came out.

However, no one would hear his pain just like no one heard mine.

Bright, warm scarlet blood gushed out of the wound, pulsing with failing life. The delicious scent flooded my senses, dulling all human rationality and activating the monster within. My mouth attached itself to the wound. Sweet, healthy, deliciously indescribable blood poured in and stained my teeth. The flavor was euphoric. Warm freshness of the liquid buzzed in my stomach and was already being absorbed into my own bloodstream.

Somewhere in my euphoria-like state Kaneki had joined me. Soon enough we were tearing away violently at what used to be Amgyne. Human flesh was a dessert for us at the moment. We usually cannibalized other ghouls with their rotten-fish tasting flesh. However, at the moment, what would taste like sweet cake to humans filled our mouths and stomachs.

As I gulped down a hunk of stringy muscle, something penetrated my shoulder. I turned around to stare at the perpetrator dangerously but it was only Samael, whose enraged face shone with wet tears. The wound created by the knife was simply a small sting, so I ignored it and happily continued my predatory rampage. However, Kaneki was pissed. He leaped into the air and animalistically mauled Samael, who helplessly thudded to the ground on impact. Kaneki's strength was never to be tested. Even I knew that.

"You think we're fucking around, stupid human?! To think that you have the nerve to endanger your family by fucking with us..." Amidst the fury, Kaneki's voice became icy calm. "Tut, tut, tut... Such a naughty, naughty boy..." He growled. Then he raised a pale fist, readying to land a death blow to Samael right in the face. It would kill Samael if it hit.

In a flash I appeared right next to Kaneki's enfuriated form and caught the large, place fist with my small dominant hand. I leaned down to whisper softly into his ear. "We can't kill him, Kaneki-kun."

"He stabbed you."

"Killing him would be doing him a favor. He needs to live for my revenge." 

Kaneki sighed. "I'm sorry, Mallory."

I stared gently into his kind, loving eyes and chuckled lightly. "There's still a knife in my back, Ken. Do you mind taking it out?"

"Of course."

 

               Samael's POV (3rd Person)

Mallory had saved him from Kaneki's wrathful anger. The normally calm young man became an untammable beast when Samael stabbed Mallory in the back with her own pulsing knife. Well, not untammable, but close. Mallory whispered sweet words of reassurance in Kaneki's ear and he finally retreated from his position on top of Samael. 

But throughout the duo's exchange, Samael lay alone and cold on the frozen ground, weeping at the sight of his lifeless, faceless, devoured lover.  _Maybe all of this is my fault after all..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully next chapter will be out sometime this weekend. Quick updates are fun!


	6. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mallory confesses her true feelings towards Kaneki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little chapter of fluff to cover up the mess from last chapter and before. It'll be from 3rd person POV so that I can properly convey both characters' emotions. Also, I've forgotten to mention this in the past couple of chapters, but I am pretty much going solo on this fic so many mistakes will most likely appear. I have no beta to go through and edit them for me. However, I skim through every day to check, but if I miss something feel free to politely point it out.

Mallory leaned her small back thoughtfully against the tree. She knew she had to confess her feelings towards Kaneki as soon as possible. However, personal situations, such as love confessions, were rather awkward for her to put into words. Not to mention the fact that she promised herself not to form any kind of emotional bond towards the white-haired young man. After all, the two only engaged in intimate situations to calm each others' raging hormones (they were only nineteen years old after all).

But the last time the duo shared a victory smooch it wasn't just a meaningless kiss. Mallory actually poured her feelings into it all the while savoring Kaneki's touch. It was unfair to leave Kaneki in the dark about her feelings. They constantly put their blind trust in each other like morons, and now Mallory was disrespecting Kaneki by hiding something important from him.

Mind made up, Mallory stood up silently and shyly approached Kaneki's dozing form. The white-haired boy's ears easily picked up the sound of her light footsteps approaching from the left. Kaneki was caught off guard from the girl's lost composure. Her cheeks were dusted with pink, pretty lashed eyes cast downward shyly. Kaneki pretended not to notice how large Mallory's breasts really were without the heavy black trenchcoat she frequented. She really was beautiful. If only he could have her...

"Hey," she croaked out, cringing at her own dry voice. Kaneki smiled gently.

"Hey. Can't sleep?" He said.

"Not really... I just kinda wanted to talk to you about something... I guess?" Mallory stammered awkwardly. This kind of situation was better suited for the human-version of her. However, she was gone. 

"Well... Um, Kaneki... You know Samael was my last lover, right?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"That was almost five years ago, you know..."

"Yeahhhhh?" Kaneki drew out in confusion, squinting at Mallory's small form. He made eye contact with her cool blue eyes before she quickly withdrew to staring at the ground again. 

"Well, uh, since the, you know, abuse and stuff, I forgot what it was like to feel special feelings towards someone," she stammered.

"Mallory. Just tell me. It's okay." 

Mallory took a shaky breath, nervously twirling a long lock of bi-colored hair. Strangely enough, her beautiful apple cheeks were still lightly dusted with a soft pink. 

She was glowing beautifully with what innocence remained in her broken spirit.

"Pués... Creo que... Te amo."

Kaneki squinted in confusion. The sharp, fluid words that flowed out of Mallory's mouth were completely foreign to him. Mallory had never told him about her knowledge of a  _third_ language. Not only was the blonde beautiful, but she was also practically a genius. Kaneki put it in the back of her mind to administer her an IQ test without her knowing.

"Mallory. You said that in a different language," he chuckled. 

"Fuck! God. I fucking said that I believe that I... Love you, Ken."

Kaneki's heart stopped beating. Did those same words that he's been wanting to tell Mallory just come out of her mouth? Was this a dream created by the sick, cruel reality of the world? Nothing good ever happened to him. Not anything as good as the love of his life confessing her own love towards him. She even said his first name. 

"I couldn't keep it from you, you know..." Mallory said solemnly, suddenly sitting right in front of Kaneki. She must've moved while he was zoned out.

Kaneki reached out and gently embraced her small form in his arms. The blond half of her hair tickled his nose as he inhaled her sweetly unique scent. Mallory's body tensed in shock, but gradually relaxed as she silently accepted Kaneki's wordless confession. A tear streamed down her pale face as she relished in the feeling of what was called 'love.'  _Real_ love. Not some twisted form of abuse, not some phony little crush. Real love. 

The duo reamined embraced throughout the chilly night. Their hearts beat in synch, breathing becoming deeper with dreamless sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I basically spewed this whole chapter out without any drafts of it. Lol but for real Tokyo ghoul :re manga is getting so lit rn I recommend you read it if you haven't yet. Chapter 66 end had me crying I was so happy :3


	7. Reliving the Unwanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh the first half of this story isn't going to go very far. It'll mostly be character development and flashbacks, but I promise that in the future it will go somewhere and we will be back onto the canon manga + Mallory.

Sleep easily consumed me while I was lovingly cradled in Kaneki's arms. However, my body was used to an hour of sleep per night, so naturally I woke up around three a.m. My eyes easily adjusted to the dark surroundings as I carefully unfolded my body from Kaneki. He groaned sofly at the loss of warmth but nevertheless remained in a peaceful sleep. 

Samael was still staring emptily into the dying fire. His lack of nutrition over the past couple of days resulted in his skin becoming pale and ashy. Bags of weariness hung limply underneath gaunt eyes. I refueled the fire and quietly sat down across from him. He glanced up at me hopelessly.

"What now?" He said, despair clouding his tenor voice. A puny amount of desire to live remained in those sharp eyes.

I, however, held no trace of regret or guilt from earlier.

Clasping my hands together thoughtfully, I began a (what would be heartbreaking to a human in grief) conversation. "Do you know why I killed the one you loved, Samael"?"

"No," he said in a broken voice.

"How do you feel right now? What emotions are raging through your weak human body?"

Samael glared daggers at me, dumbstruck at my lack of sympathy. I stared back unflinchingly and waited.

"Mallory. You know I don't t-"

"Talk about feelings. Yeah, yeah. Believe me, it's a pain in my ass, too. However, no shits are given on my behalf at the moment. Spill the beans, moron," I snapped as an eye twitched into scarlet and black.

Samael gagged. "You know, I'll probably never get used to the fact that you're a ghoul with those creepy fuckin' eyes and regeneration abilities. Anyways," he took a deep breath, "I guess I feel... Hopeless. Like something precious was taken away from me and I'll never, ever get it back. Things will never be the same. I didn't ask for any of this to happen, either. I feel alone. I want to fucking die and cry alone, Mallory."

I laid back and tilted my chin arrogantly, staring Samael dead in the eyes. "That... Is exactly how I felt when you raped me. But over and over and fucking over again." 

"So I was right. This was a revenge mission, wasn't it."

"Of course," I mumbled somberly, softening my sharp gaze. Instead I dropped it to the orange flames that licked hungrily at burnt wood. 

"I'm sorry, Mallory. That was years ago... I'm different now. You should know that."

"You're not. Let's talk about something else. Ask me questions."

He smiled softly. "What's goin' on between you and Ken?"

I clicked my tongue in annoyance. "None of that 'boyfriend/girlfriend' bullshit. It's way stronger than some stupid, weak human relationship."

"I'm glad you're happy, then."

I snapped my head up to meet his eyes. "What the fuck gives you the idea that I'm happy? Sure, I have a lover, a damn handsome and strong one who  _loves_ me. I'm strong, stronger than any human will ever be. But that doesn't mean I don't miss fucking Swiss Rolls, dude. I don't even remember what they taste like anymore. I survive by murdering people and eating them. My fuckin' hair is turning white because of how much stress and anxiety I've gone through within these months of hell."

To prove my point I pulled irritably at a long lock of bi-colored hair. From the roots down to my ears was snow-white, the other half a golden blonde that would someday be gone forever. Tears began welling up in my multi-colored eyes. I grit my teeth in anger, squeezing my eyes shut as I cursed myself for being a damn crybaby. Embarrassing.

"I went to Japan to achieve a lifelong dream and came back as a ghoul, Samael! I haven't seen my family since..." I sighed shakily as a tear escaped. "I'm no longer... Human. I can't live as one. Not when, in reality, I'm a monster."

Samael's gaze was glued to the floor, face frowned in emotional turmoil. Though I'd only seen him cry twice in the whole time of knowing him, I knew he was about to weep again. But this time, it would be for me. "After almost five years you were still messed up from me?"

I grunted, my way of saying 'yes' when air couldn't find its way to my frozen vocal chords.

Samael remained silent, staring sadly at a drop of water on the tip of a pointed leaf. The water already had its fate determined. It was clear that it would fall. All that was needed to help the water complete its journey was a simple push.

We sat in silence until a rumble errupted from Samael's belly. Realization hit me as I remembered that not only was Samael human, but humans usually eat three times a freakin' day. Oops.

"Are there any coffee shops around here?" I asked. 

"Yeah? There's this little café over in Lass, the next town over. Why?"

"I haven't fed you. For the time being we will rent a room in a motel, get cleaned up, and get you something to eat. I'll wake Kaneki."

"Wait what? You're buying me-"

"Shut up and sit, moron" I snapped. He remained silent as I slowly got up and approached Kaneki, who was curled up cutely with his pale face relaxed and peaceful. It came to me that neither Kaneki nor I had showered since arriving from Japan. 

Hopefully the snowy-haired boy didn't mind. 

"Kaneki-kun... Wake up," I said, gently prodding his head as I smiled down at him. His beautiful grey eyes blinked open sleepily. He sat up and yawned tiredly.

"Good morning, Roe-chan."

"Hi there, sleeping beauty. We're traveling a bit today."

"For what?"

I gestured irritably over my shoulder. "Gotta feed this moron. Not to mention we're dirty as fuck and need a change of clothes and shit. You're okay with a bit of a delay, yeah?"

"Of course. Whatever makes you feel content," he said softly. I cleared my throat, feeling something awkward about to bubble its way out of my throat. Suddenly, Kaneki's lips were on mine, soft and sweet. I fell easily into the kiss, temporarily forgetting every sin committed by my being. I forgot about the drop of water on the leaf, about how I was that drop of water. I forgot that I was a ghoul, a monster. I simply forgot the bad around my existence as Kaneki withdrew and gazed softly into my eyes. 

Was this what it was like to be fond of somebody? 

 

 The bleached-blond pondered quietly at his work desk. Files and stolen pieces of information from the CCG litered the faded oak of the table. The young man sighed to himself. He hadn't seen his best friend since Anteiku closed from a supposed break in. Even the other waiters and waitresses that worked at the homey coffee shop shook their heads solemnly when asked if they'd seen the awkward-but-adorable young man with the neat black hair and soft gray eyes. But the bleached-blond read people as a fun habit and easily spotted the twinkle of knowledge of Kaneki's whereabouts in their false eyes. They were stubborn, alright; even the cute purple-haired waitress named Touka remained silent. He even questioned her until her face turned red and she stormed off into the back of the store.

Perhaps he would have to resort to the illegal way of finding Kaneki.

Starting with the pretty-eyed Caucasian girl who wore a cotton eye patch, just like Kaneki, after their visit to the hospital, except on the opposite eye. Kaneki told the bleached-blond that he met the girl through the date with Rize, which was slightly ironic. The two were involved in the accident and underwent emergency organ transplants from their dead dates. It was fishy from the beginning. She appeared at Anteiku at the same time as Kaneki and even wore an eye patch after the accident just like he did. They even seemed to be close friends, perhaps even more than just that. Kaneki would always nervously bring his hand to his chin when communicating with her, his eyes shyly cast downward, a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks.

But the strangest thing was the fact that Kaneki never ate around his friend after the accident. If offered, he would hastily wave his hands in a polite 'no thanks' while sweat dripped slowly down his neck.

However, before Hide could talk to his friend properly, the duo mysteriously disappeared after the 'break-in.' And the young man hadn't seen his friend since.

That was months ago.

 Hide was smart. Incredibly observant, to the point that it was scary. He had a bad hunch about what happened to the two young people that night, but shoved into the back of his mind. He would have to conduct more research before reaching  _that_ conclusion. What mattered most was where Kaneki and the blonde were last seen. The answer was most likely at Anteiku by their coworkers. 

Kaneki and the girl must have at least told the Manager about their whereabouts. Neither of them would just quit and leave without telling anybody.

So Hide came up with incredibly bright idea of hacking into Tokyo's street cameras. It would take hours, but the blonde would be considerably easy to spot with her golden locks and small form. It was like picking out the queen bee in a colony of ants.

"How the hell does hair even get that color..." Hide mumbled to himself as he typed furiously. Too many questions remainded unanswered.

 

After hours of searching through the bright city, a small girl with hair of gold caught his eye. Kaneki was, as expected, glued to her side. However, his hair was snow white. Hide pushed that detail into the back of his mind, concentrating on the current situation. The duo was at the Tokyo airport, dressed in darker colored clothing. The girl carried a black messenger bag, but that was it between the two of them. They walked at a hurried pace, moving with meaning. Then Hide spotted the sign that read 'International Flights.' "Great..."

He easily hacked into the airport's flight records from about six months ago. There were too many names. It would take months at this rate, but luckily the website had a name searching engine. Hide quickly typed in 'Kaneki Ken'... And bingo. Headed to Washington State, North America with the girl, whose name was probably the one that appeared with Kaneki's: Roe Mallory.

Of all places, why America? Did Kaneki even know English? Maybe it had solely to do with the Roe girl's plans. Perhaps Kaneki was simply visiting with her. After all, she wasn't a citizen of Japan. 

However, Hide's gut still clenched with uncertainty. He would fly out there and find the duo. After all, he had easily saved up a sufficient amount of money from his minor job in the CCG. Hide quickly booked a flight, readied his passport, and packed a small messenger bag full of small necessities.

The flight was only ten hours. He would be there by about noon in that time zone.

Locking the partly-broken doorknob, Hide left his apartment. _Kaneki..._

 

Touka honestly missed the cheeky Anteiku duo. Kaneki's soft-hearted personality warmed the coffee shop up, offering comfort to ghouls seeking to blend in with human society. Roe's vulgar sense of humor, along with her fiery personality, brightened Touka's days up considerably and even forced loud guffaws of laughter out of her normally-silent self. Even Yomo smirked at the harshly inappropriate jokes frequently cracked by the blue-eyed girl.

But then Yamori came and fucked everything up. 

That creepy motherfucker fucked the cheerful Anteiku duo up even worse. Hardcore physical and emotional torture, most likely. Possibly even multiple sexual assaults and fucked up psychological games for fun on Yamori's part. The bastard put enough strain on the ghoulified people to drain all traces of melannin out of their once-glorious hair colors. Kaneki's jet black mop was now snow-white, while Roe's mid-back length hair was half and half when Touka last saw her. The gold would continue to fade until none other than white remained. 

Though the due was slightly different after Yamori's horrible doings, the traits that were so adored by their coworkers remained. However, Kaneki and Roe were only back for a couple of days until they requested a vacation and flew to America for some kind of goal on Roe's behalf. It's not like they were gone without a trace.

Kankei's annoyingly cheerful, spiky haired friend constantly came into Anteiku and pestered anyone working there about Kaneki until they stormed off, extremely irritated. Moreoever, the reason for the staff's secrecy was Kaneki and Roe's special request to not tell anyone who came in asking. Hide didn't know that, but he'd still slump off in disappointment when deprived of answers.

Touka missed Kaneki and Roe, too. Everyone did.  _Please come back soon..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pun of the day: How does NASA throw a party? 
> 
> Answer: they planet.
> 
> ;D ;D


	8. Relaxation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh I've been busy but things are getting better so let's do this!!

"You know if we take him with us we'll have to teach him Japanese," I said thoughtfully to Kaneki, who was laying beside me sleepily. "Well, me at least, cause you've got shitty English."

Kaneki shot a false glare at me, readying a smart-ass comeback. "Actually, Mallory, my English is amazing, thank you very much. I can even cuss."

"Wow, congratulations. That's a huge achievement. 'Fuck' is a hard word to say, isn't it?"

"Nope. That why I'm telling your tiny ass to fuck off."

"Damn, I see how it is," I pouted fakely as my bare feet landed on the rough, ugly motel carpet. I glanced back at Kaneki, who was spread out comfortably in the bed we shared, the pale skin of his abdomen peeking out at me from underneath his dark T-shirt. The snowy-haired young man smirked at my "irritated" self. Suddenly a softness flooded over his perfect face, lifting his pink lips into a loving smile. I smiled shyly back at him.

"You told me to fuck off, so I'm fucking off, Ken," I said.

"I realize that," Kaneki said, pausing thoughtfully. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Taken by surprise, my eyes widened by a small fraction. "No, no. Go ahead. What's up?" 

"Can you... Tell me more about you? The stuff I don't know and about the you I never had the chance to meet. Before... Everything."

My heart clenched slightly at old memories. I would gladly talk to Kaneki about things as personal as what he wished to know. However, Samael was my problem. The bastard didn't deserve to know anything about me or my suffering caused by him. Furthermore, he constantly made fun of me back then. Even now I was still affected by his dark words of taunting. But he was still sleeping deeply at the moment, and this was my chance to actually talk to Kaneki.

I gently approached the queen-sized bed and sat criss-cross-apple-sauce, facing Kaneki. "How would you describe me now?"

He closed his eyes thoughtfully before answering. "Fiery and impatient. Gets pissed when things don't go your way. Hot as fuck and a practical genius."

"Alright. Well, before the fucked up shit happened, I was pretty much the same I guess. Except I wasn't a prissy little bitch," I chuckled, "I was sort of chubby, ya know. Had a binge-eating disorder. I had no friends because of my loud mouth and hyperness... And because I called literally everyone that I knew morons to their faces." 

"Sounds like you haven't changed much, huh" Kaneki said half to himself. 

"Guess not. Your turn, kid," I said, punching his arm playfully. He grinned at me.

"Yeah yeah. I was quiet and weak. A total prude. Hadn't cussed one time in my entire life. I also lacked friends in my life but that was because I was weird to everyone, so they avoided me. Hide was the class clown and super popular but he chose me, out of all people, to be his friend..."

"Mm," I grunted. Kaneki stared blankly at the dirty wall behind me, eyes glazed over in thought. I immediately took that as a queue to change the subject.

"Welp, I'm gonna go clean up. Why don't you wake sleeping beauty and have a wholehearted conversation?" I said cheekily, swinging around the corner quickly before Kaneki could even utter a single syllable. After closing the door, I stared at my reflection in the surprisingly I clean mirror. A smooth, pale face with high cheekbones and a dimple on the right side of its mouth stared sadly back at me. The tongue slid slowly over pale pink lips, dampening them. Once empty ice-blue eyes lined with darker blue were filled with more life than I'd seen in too long. And the hair... The hair I had dreamed of growing out was at the desired length, but half of it was lacking color of any sort. The thought of having white hair at my young age was bizzare, really.

I sighed sadly, closing my eyes. The right one twitched. I reopened them to find them polar opposites. 

The blood red and black. A ghoul's eye. An eye of a monster who eats humans to sustain their own life.  _My_ eye. The eye of Mallory Roe, who used to hesitate at the thought of simply feeding my starving body.

That eye was one out of two that witnessed my best friend undergo inhumane, horribly traumatic torture, that watched as his beautiful locks of jet black hair faded into white by the days. It was one of the eyes that helplessely became subject to the pricking sensation of a needle being shoved into the mucuous membrane that inject RC cell weakening serum into my bloodstream, rendering me defenseless against Yamori's... Fun.

That eye... That eye watched fearfully as myself and Kaneki became subject to unwanted activities.

I shook my head roughly, attempting to dislodge traumatic memories of my traumatic past. I quickly wiped the tears that somehow slid out of my eyes and slipped my long bi-colored hair into a messy ponytail. Afterwards, my clammy hands reached for a toothbrush and toothpaste that sat unused in the cabinet. Finally I began the routine I'd had for over a decade.

 

            Samael's POV (3rd person)

Samael, who was just woken up by Kaneki's annoying jabs to his ribs, blearily approached the opposing bed that Mallory and Kaneki had shared the night before. Samael missed Mallory, to be honest. Seeing her kissing, sleeping with, and simply  _adoring_ the strange young man from Japan caused hidden jealousy to bubble up from the depths of his emotions. Mallory's ghoulification treated her well, thinning out her once-chubby torso and clearing up her, well, human face. The girl's hair had thickened on an extreme scale and... Oh god... Her breasts. So big and perky and beautiful and just begging to be played with. Mallory's thin, muscular body and perky breasts were perfectly topped off with a gorgeous, round ass.

Kaneki seemed to sense Samael's perverted thoughts, startling the human with a loud "Oi! What do you want, you pervert?"

Samael paused for a moment before settling down on Kaneki's bed. Even before the first word left his mouth Kaneki knew what was coming.

"You and Mallory... Are y'all a... a thing?"

Kaneki sighed irritably. "What the hell does a 'thing' mean? Are you asking if we're mates or something?"

"I guess. What is your relationship?" 

Kaneki stared stoicly at the baggy eyed male. "Something deeper than you ever had or ever will have with what's now mine."

"And what makes you think that, you smug bastard?" Samael snapped angrily.

A chuckle, dry and seeping with amusement, forced its way out of the white-haired ghoul's mouth. He felt satisfaction out of Samael's jealousy. He felt satisfaction from the hidden regret and sadness that dwelled within the other boy's eyes. Though Kaneki wasn't quite the sadist as Mallory, the thought of another person of her past in pain sent shivers of joy down his body.

"Unlike you, I treat Roe-chan like she is my princess, which she is. And she treats me with the same respect. We underwent tragedy together. Murdered humans and ghouls together.  _Ate_ humans and ghouls together," Kaneki said arrogantly, pausing. He activated his left kakugan and stared Samael dead in the eyes. "Ate  _each other's_ flesh."

And at that, the nauseated human retched loudly. However, the bed remained stainless, as Samael's stomach had yet to be filled. He regained his previous stature and began poking at Kaneki again.

"You guys are sick fucks. Why the hell would you fuckin' eat each other bro?"

"It's simple. Half-ghouls taste even better." 

Samael was still puzzled. "So?! Doesn't it, like, hurt? Where the hell are the scars?"

Kaneki sighed in hasty frustration. "Holy shit you ask a lot of questions. To us, eating each other is almost orgasmic, dear Samael. Ghouls--especially half-ghouls--recover incredibly fast. Much faster than a stupid human. But only as long as we have eaten." 

Samael's eyes lit up with understanding, which was immediately replaced with hesitant curiosity. His head was slightly tilted to the side like a dog, arms crossed tightly. "Ken, I need to ask you something... What happened to Mallory?" 

Suddenly, Kaneki's eyes, cold and unforgiving, flicked up to Samael's. He was pondering whether or not to tell the other young man about his and Mallory's encounter with Jason. There were no pros in telling the guy, but there weren't any con's either. Finally he decided to tell Samael.

"She... We... Underwent torture. Over and over and over again. Fingers and toes cut off one by one, over and over again even after they regenerated. Raped. Over and over. For her,  _again_ ," he glared at Samael, "but for me... I guess you could consider it my first time."

Samael lowered his eyes in hurt guilt. Did Mallory really get tortured? She didn't seem quite like the type of person to easily get caught and kidnapped, but then again, she's no longer part of the human world. Samael blinked his eyes to find tears falling into his lap. Kaneki stared at him without an ounce of emotion. 

"So-so who was it?" Samael asked.

Before Kaneki could coldly give him an answer, there was a particularly strange series of light knocks on the door.

"Jeez. Hold up," Kaneki growled grumpily as he slid to the edge of the bed. The white-haired ghoul stood lazily, popping his back and cracking his fingers loudly. He sauntered to the door and leaned an eye against the peephole. 

His heart almost stopped.

Because, standing in casual patience at the door was a young man with bleached hair.

His best friend, Hide.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need more ideas! Comment some and I might write them and give credit! Thanks for reading! :*


	9. Woah There Buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple of chapters are mostly going to be fillers and character development, so please bear with me :')

                   Hide's POV

I stood patiently at the door, waiting for someone to open. I  _knew_ Kaneki and the girl were in there. There's no way they could've left in two minutes, though the amount of time I stood there might've proved me wrong otherwise.

Finally, the door opened slowly, revealing a young man with snow-white hair and stoic gray eyes. Kaneki's body soon appeared afterwards, five times more muscular than it used to be. Had he been working out?

"Yo, Kaneki," I said in false cheerfulness. He remained stoic, but finally, after a few moments, he managed to form some words.

"H-Hide? What... Why--?" His voice cracked with obvious fearful shock. I continued to ignore it and pressed on with phony brightness.

"Kaaaaaneeeekiiiii rabbits can die when they get lonely, you know!" I shouted, shaking his shoulders back and forth. "But why the hell did you bleach your hair without calling me, AKA the expert?! Man, I'm so disappointed that you went on vacation without me!" I rambled, lightning up the tense atmosphere.

Kaneki's white hair, however, was definitely not bleached. And I knew that, of course.

A tiny gasp sounded behind Kaneki's buff form and he stepped to the side to reveal a small Caucasian girl with blue eyes and bi-colored hair. The girl from Anteiku who was literally glued to Kaneki's side 24/7. Kaneki turned to face her silently. The girl's blue eyes watered with fear, her soft mouth slightly agape with lips that revealed pearly-white teeth. 

"H-Hide?" She whispered shakily.

I smiled warmly to ease her obvious discomfort. "That's me."

This was definitely the same girl that Kaneki hung around with, but there were multiple physical changes to her small form that weren't apparent whenever we met at Anteiku. Like how she was thinner, the human deposits of fat that framed her cute face now gone, revealing delicate cheekbones dusted with pink. The adorable tiny pouch of fat that most women have on their bellies had disappeared and was replaced with smooth abdominal muscle. 

The scariest change in the cute girl was the lack of light in her eyes. The interesting yellow and blue orbs used to shine with warm kindness and would pulse with bright laughter from vulgar jokes; but now, all that remained was icy negativity. The coldness of anger, self-hatred, depression, and heartbreaking sadness was all that was left.

I pushed the want to weep away and continued my façade.

"Yo, ah... sort of forgot your name, miss," I said as I scratched at my cheek awkwardly.

The girl smiled shyly, though it was obviously forced as it did not reach her heartbreaking eyes. "Um, hi... my name is Roe Mallory. Kaneki-kun sure has talked about you a lot, Hideyoshi-san," the shy words flowed from Roe's delicate, fawn-like mouth, her voice sweet nectar.

"Oh, now has he? Awwww, Kaneki, I feel so special. I guess I'm famous now, eh?" I nudged Kaneki playfully with my elbow. He smiled solemnly and emitted a short, fake laugh, devoid of all emotion. His grey eyes were cast downward in guilt. Of course the guy felt guilty for leaving me without a word, but I had no right to be angry or frustrated with him. 

 Roe spoke up softly. "Let's bring this inside, guys."

And even as I put a single converse-ladden foot into the small room and spotted the curious looking young man sitting quietly on a bed, my gut twisted in sick disgust, knowing that he was with the Anteiku duo for a  _reason._  

Not a simple one, either.

 

 

Samael could  _feel_ the 'what the actual hell is he doing here' from the far side bed that he patiently sat on. Mallory and Kaneki blabbered Japanese to an obviously familiar guy with bleached hair. Their voices, normally stable and confident, shook with fearful shock. Samael was pondering about reasons why the lovebirds were flipping their shit when the group of three entered the room, Mallory quietly shutting the plain door. Kaneki and bleach-hair guy spoke quietly in the foreign language as they settled down on the cheap couch opposite of Samael's bed. Bleach-hair guy squinted at Samael in careful suspicion, most likely aware that something bad brought him here.

Samael wondered if Kaneki and Mallory had told him something when, as if on queue, bleach-hair guy said something that was phrased like a question. Mallory responded quietly. Somewhere amidst the blabber of foreign words Samael could make out his name. Suddenly, Mallory's sharp eyes of ice pierced into his, freezing him in place. Then she sighed in bubbling irritation.

"Say hi, dumbfuck."

Would bleach-hair guy even understand...? "Um hi?" Said samael, voice cracking awkwardly. He cleared his throat unconsciously.

The blond smiled. He blabbered something cheerfully, which could be roughly translated to "Yo! You look like a damn idiot, but I'm gonna act like I like you! Please tell him my name, Roe-chan." 

Of course Samael stared dumbly at Mallory, silently asking for a translation. The short girl snickered, her breasts bouncing slightly from the movement. Apparently bleach-hair guy had noticed, for his face flushed pink after realizing he had been staring at Mallory's rather large breasts. Samael didn't blame him.

"He says hi," said Mallory. "His name is Hideyoshi Nagachika, but you can call him Hide. Though your dumb ass won't understand a thing he says," the feisty girl spouted, then turned to Kaneki.

"What the  _fuck_ is he doing here?" She deadpanned in English so Hide wouldn't understand. Kaneki flinched, intimidated by Mallory's elf-like anger. Meanwhile, Hide squinted in confusion at Mallory's foreign words. 

"Like I'd fucking know. I didn't see this coming, to be honest. I have a hunch that it took a lot of him sticking his nose in illegal shit, though," Kaneki sighed, "but I guess we'll just deal with it for now."

"Do you think he knows?" asked Mallory.

"Yeah. Bastard's at your level of intelligence, maybe even higher." 

"Fucking shit."

Samael acted like he was interested in picking a scab while, in reality, he was eavesdropping on the couple's conversation about Hide. He snickered at Mallory's always-so-attractive choice of words. Though the young woman he once loved had changed considerably, her vulgar language and inappropriate jokes remained. Back then Samael thought of Mallory as a cute wolf pup, but now she had upgraded to a strong, graceful adult wolf.

The thoughts became deeper as he wondered if he even ever fell out of love with Mallory when her sharp voice brought him back to reality.

"Hey fuckhead. We gotta get you and Hide something to eat. Get your shit together and then vamanos," she commanded, approaching Samael and bending over to look directly into his eyes. Her large breasts fell victim to gravity and partially spilled out of her low-necked tank. Samael immediately felt his face heat up and a certain kind of warmth pool in his lower abdomen.  _Shit!_ he thought in fear, because while Mallory was the epitomy of a goddess, she was not ignorant in any way, and her observation skills topped even his father's, who was a detective, for god's sake.

Of course the girl noticed his 'issue' and scowled in angry embarrassment.

She scoffed irritably. "Once a perv, always a perv. Too bad  _this,_ " she grabbed her giant boobs and followed that action by pointing her  _perfect ass right at him_ "is alllllllll Kaneki's. You get nothing else for the rest of your pitiful life." And with that, she stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door.

While Hide got the gist of the entire angry conversation and guffawed uncontrollably while pounding his fist against a small coffee table, Kaneki was smirking with proud lust as Samael's gaze sadly settled on him.

No wonder Mallory was so attracted to Kaneki, Samael thought. The young man's hair was thick and snowy-white, beautiful even in Samael's eyes. He was average heighted and a few inches shorter than Samael himself. There was also no doubt that Kaneki was stronger than him. And when his lover underwent any sort of discomfort, his gray eyes would burn into Samael's, silently scalding him from the inside.

Samael, however, did not blame the handsome Japanese man.

Bleach-hair, or Hide, muttered something to Kaneki after calming down from his fit of laughter. His warm gaze stared _lovingly_ into Kaneki's. Samael immediately registered that as the same gaze that the ghoul duo share for each other. The gaze of love and simple adoration. Fucking shit.  _Great, a love triangle with me as a witness._

 

 

Men are fucking disgusting. Well, some of them are. That's pretty unfair of me to say that  _all_ men, or that _all_ people with a dick and pair of nuts, are disgusting. The ones like Samael, who openly stare at breasts and asses like it's no big deal, are the ones who really grind my gears. Samael's such a god damned pervert, sitting there staring at my breasts like that. _Right_ in front of Kaneki and Hide, too. I ought to kill him before he pitches the next damn tent.

I sighed quietly to myself as I changed clothes. Wearing a low-necked tank top in public didn't really appeal to me, so I opted to wear my favorite (and perfectly cleaned) black trenchcoat over a baby pink blouse. Jeans would interfere with my movements if something were to happen, so I gently pulled a pair of black panty hose and a black skirt out of my rather fat messenger bag containing my belongings. 

After squirming into the panty hose and inching my butt through the waist of the skirt, I pulled on my favorite black combat boots, which were comfortable and worn. As for the rather-unique hair that I possessed, I easily threw it into a much-perfected messy bun.

Amidst my unhurried getting ready, questions and previous scenarios began to fill my mind. Hide. Why the flying fuck was Hide here? Hide's unprepared-for appearance not only caught me by surprise, but the smile plastered to his face at the time unnerved me to the point where I lost my composure. I didn't predict him, or anyone at that, showing up, and I fucked up by making a stupid plan based on no one coming in and fucking shit up. There wasn't even enough time to make a plan B. Stupid, stupid, worthless...

I cracked my fingers loudly in angry frustration, a habit picked up from Jason.

Fuck that guy.

A small knock on the door interrupted my self-hating thoughts. Moments later Kaneki's sweet scent drifted to my nose.

"Come in," I said, voice cracking pathetically. Kaneki's face peered carefully around the door, eyes wide with alarm. He quickly came in and shut the door softly. Turning to me, he stared at me with a gentle look of concern.

"Mallory. Come here," he said. I slowly approached his taller, lithe form and wound my arms around his waist. He held me quietly, jaw resting on top of my soft hair. Kaneki and I stood there in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he broke it.

"We have to go back to Japan, you know," he mumbled deeply.

My heart sank and I remained silent. He continued on sadly.

"There's not much more time we can be here before the doves find out that the eyepatch-duo of Japan is in North America. They'll shut the airports down and we will be trapped for longer than necessary. Plus, your disappearance and reappearance could be linked together. You know that," he whispered softly. 

"Yeah," I croaked.

"I'm talking about within the next two days, Mallory."

I jerked back, staring with disbelief into Kaneki's cautious gray eyes. So soon? I had things to do... Things as in reconnect with the family I had left behind and finally talk to them for the first time in almost a fucking  _year._ Kaneki knew next to nothing about my family. I never really thought about telling him because everyone he ever had was gone. It simply slipped my mind, and he never asked. 

I closed my eyes and my lips twitched, signaling that I was about to cry. "Ken," I whispered shakily, "I have to--to see m-my family. Just... One more time..." I trailed off. Tears slipped from underneath my eyelids and littered my blotched cheeks. Kaneki stared at me with shocked sadness and held me even tighter.

"I... I didn't know you had family here, Mallory," he said. "I didn't know you had family at all..."

I sniffled softly and opened my eyes, finding the tiled floor interesting. "It's my fault. I never told you."

"No, no it isn't. I failed to ever ask and selfishly kept thinking you were gonna stay with me forever. I'm so sorry, Mallory."

I remained silent for a few moments until Kaneki sighed with sad, self-loathing frustration. "I'm sorry..."

"No, Ken. It'll just be one day, I promise. It's not your fault. It's okay," I said as I ran my hand slowly up and down his flat chest. "All of us will go, I guess. I'll rent a car, and while we're on our way we can stop by a coffee shop and get the guys something to eat. While we're at it, we also need to check our phones and buy some chargers. So, um, get ready, please, and tell ass-hat to freshen the fuck up." 

Kaneki nodded and smiled warmly, eyes closing ever so slightly. Suddenly, his large hands framed my face, cool and comfortable. Handsome gray eyes stared directly into mine and faint pink dusted Kaneki's familiar cheeks. "Mallory," he said softly, as if he was getting used to calling me by my first name and cherishing it. And then his soft pink lips brushed lovingly against mine while soft hands cradled my round, feminine jaw. My heart fluttered uncontrollably in my chest and for a second I forgot how to breathe. 

Kaneki... He was my everything, now. The two of us went together perfectly, like pieces of shattered glass. Each of us filled the other's hollow heart, and though being broken will forever remain, being with each other will, too. We went together perfectly. Tragic, unfortunate soulmates.

"I love you," he whispered as he gently pulled away.

However, I was incapable of repeating Ken's words. And he knew that. He knew damn well and understood that I felt the same way, even though I shamefully closed my eyes and hung my head. All I could do was silently feel those words. All I could do was  _think_ those beautiful, simple-but-complex three words. I  _knew_ I felt the same about the snowy-haired young man, but those words, if they were to come out of my mouth, would become meaningless, poisonous. The same words that were said every day in a flat, broken voice of a mere fourteen year old, forced out of her by blood curdling fear and verbal abuse. 

I just couldn't say them.

Ken's arms were cradling me gently, jaw once again resting on the top of my head. His warm scent filled my entire head and calmed my wild heartbeat. I silently rested my head on his chest and listened to his deep breathing and fluttering heartbeat. A single tear lazily rolled down my cheek.

Ken spoke after a few minutes. "You don't have to say it back. I know," he said softly, simply, like it didn't matter that I was fucked up. "I'll get everyone ready." He slowly detatched himself from my small frame, loving kissed the top of my head, and gently closed the door as he walked out.

I was alone, but not in my heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter won't be up for quite a while, as I am going through a small bout of writer's block and I have to practice for some auditions. I promise the story will get better though. I'm really trying my best to make it interesting :3


	10. Selfish, Selfish, Selfish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I am a beta-less writer and if there are any mistakes, feel free to kindly point them out. By the way, my auditions went great! 
> 
> If any of y'all would like to check out my tumblr, it's tokyoghoulwhy on the search. I'll try my best to link it.
> 
> This is a pretty long chapter with little plot development, but this whole story in general isn't going to be a huge leap in story telling.

Hide sat quietly on the cheap couch across from Samael's plain bed. Kaneki had left the room to calm Roe-chan down. Hide could hear soft sniffles of crying coming from the bathroom accompanied by genyle, low whispers of words of encouragement. Hide's heart betrayed him and clutched painfully in his chest, making breathing seem almost impossible. Kaneki had found someone now, and Hide had waited too long to both come out to his best friend about his sexuality and confess his feelings towards the now white-haired young man. The early bird gets the worm, they say. Hide sighed internally at himself, cursing his reluctance.

Samael watched the blond carefully, trying to interpret him. The guy was rather confusing, easily hiding away his true emotions in his chocolate eyes and successfully keeping up a neutral mask. Samael was well aware of his particularly low intelligence, but reading people was one thing he could carry out with no second glances. He guessed having a father for a detective probably led to this one strength, or that it simply ran through his blood.

Suddenly, Hide stood up and began pacing in deep thought, completely ignoring Samael as if he wasn't even there. 

Hide, who was quite confident in his tracking skills even before he found them, guessed correctly about the Anteiku duo. The lovebirds  _did_ flee to America. Furthermore, he caught them red handed with a strange young man. Kaneki, no matter how much he had changed, would never make a solo decision on kidnapping some random dude. His and Roe-chan's poorly-hidden reactions to seeing Hide at the door confirmed that they weren't expecting him in the least bit.

Roe, at least, was better at putting on a mask than Kaneki. Though her doll-like face was stoic or plastered into a polite smile, ice-crystal eyes swam with emotional agony. Yet when those orbs of blue gazed at Kaneki, they shone brightly-- warmly-- with pure adoration. Hide couldn't help but feel... happy for the couple, as the same flavor of infatuation sparkled in Kaneki's beautiful gray gaze. 

The couple, Hide thought, as induals and a whole, was beautiful. Their bond was clearly more prominant than any other normal relationship. Kaneki obviously cherished and enjoy his time with Roe. It made Hide's heart clench with warmth to see Kaneki smile with adoration, but simultaneously broke his heart because it was  _someone else_ besides him. 

Minutes passed slowly until Kaneki stepped gently out of the bathroom, closing the door with a soft click as if to not scare the upset Roe. Judging by his solemn appearance, Hide guessed that Roe was upset, which then triggered Kaneki to react in an equally depressing manner. Whether it was Hide's sudden appearance or just an unfortunate emotional breakdown, Hide tried his best to feel zero amount of guilt. Furthermore, his blunt appearance was necessary to prevent things from getting even harrier, but Hide couldn't help but feel smug about how he successfully stuffed the duo's plans down the drain. 

The young man known as Samael squirmed uncomfortably like he had to take a long piss. Hide understood that Kaneki and Roe kidnapped him, yet by his slimy presence there seemed to be a legitimate reason. The boy's dark brown eyes glinted lustfully every time he set his eyes on the beautiful Roe, but luckily the cold girl seemed to recognize this and stink-eyed the kid until his creepy gaze retreated in false disappointment.

Kaneki sat down next to Hide and sighed tiredly, closing his gray eyes. "Hide... just why are you here?" he asked in an exhausted whisper

"I already told you Kaneki! Rabbits can die when they get lonely, you know! Plus, you didn't even tell me you were leaving," Hide pouted solemnly. 

"Things are... complicated at the moment.."

Kaneki was so distant and glum when Roe wasn't around. Hide's favorite nerdy glimmer no longer resided in the gray orbs. Instead, an almost-unnoticeable fiery glint laid simmering, waiting, and focused. 

Samael decided to pipe up loudly and ease the tension, but of course he failed. "Ken, I'm hungry! Tell Mal to hurry her midget self up!" and immediately following his childish whining there was a loud rumble of hunger. 

Kaneki was about to tell him the shut the fuck up when Mallory suddenly appeared and beat him to it; however, she chose a rather violent way in which to shut Samael up. A small, pale fist made hard contact with Samael's cheek, followed by a forceful smack. While her right eye was sealed shut, the left burned with ice cold anger. The short, angry girl's teeth were bared in an almost-feral way, sharp and unforgiving.

Samael groaned in agony. His cheek almost immediately began to swell, fat and inflamed. The whole conflict happened within the span of two seconds. Hide was too shocked to even twitch as he stared slack-jawed while Kaneki stoicly, in an almost bored way, watched on.

Mallory straightened up and opened her right eye after a few moments. Her chest heaved with internal conflict. Freezing anger pulsed off of her in furious waves. "Don't-- ever again-- call me 'Mal', you slimy motherfucker. We aren't friends. Get your nasty ass showered and cleaned up. We're leaving shortly for a food run." She then stormed out the front door with a fat brown messenger bag swinging at her hips.

A few moments passed in shocked silence as Hide and Samael attempted to process what just happened. On the other hand, Kaneki appeared to be accustomed to Mallory's small fury outbursts. It seemed to Hide that Samael was mostly the trigger for her scary fits of rage, whether he did something quite inappropriate or just in general said a trigger word. Maybe even the guy's  _breathing_ was a trigger for the icy-tempered girl.

Mallory's bitter attitude towards Samael further convinced Hide that something sick and twisted had been done to her in the past, whether it was by Samael himself or someone who closely resembled him.

Kaneki stood up lazily and popped his back, all the while letting out a low groan of pleasure. Once finished stretching, he began to look for something and turned to the bruised Samael. "What the hell are you doing? Get cleaned up like Mallory told you to," he snapped grumpily. Without a word Samael scurried to the bathroom and within seconds the water had turned on. Hide pulled out his phone and scrolled lazily through his Facebook page as he sat down on the couch next to Kaneki with a grunt.

Every now and then something interesting, such as a link to a rather strange video, would pop up in his feed and he'd curiously glue his eyes to the screen. This time, the interesting thing happened to be a long message about an American CCG member who went missing within the last twenty four hours. It turned out that it was only a few miles away from the motel where the investigator was last seen and there were no eye witness reports. Not even a trace of a body or scent.

But the next link that appeared in the "related to" section was an article about a missing nineteen year old male... Named Samael Ramirez.

Hide's breath caught slightly. He hoped, prayed even, that Kaneki wasn't paying attention. If he wasn't mistaken, the guy currently taking a shower in the bathroom of this shitty motel room was named Samael.

Hide continued reading the article, afraid of what was to come next. 

'Mr. Ramirez's father explained that he and his wife had heard puttering around in the living room, where their son, Samael, had been sleeping. They figured he was getting a midnight snack and dozed off. Just a few seconds later, the couple woke up from a loud slapping sound, like someone was hitting exposed skin. Mr. Ramirez, who is a local detective, quickly grabbed his Q-bullet gun and stumbled out of his room. However, he was too late to catch the perpetrator. He believes it is a ghoul, a very intelligent one with extreme knowledge of technology and hacking. He found his security system to be completely offline and the cameras glitched until the end, where one lucky frame of the perpetrator was caught from the back. It is believed to be a female ghoul with blond hair and very short in stature. The ghoul indeed wore a mask to conceal their identity as all ghouls do. It is unknown whether a second ghoul was involved or not. Updates on the situation will continue within the next few hours.'

Hide let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. So it was true.

Roe and Kaneki were most likely the kidnappers.

Hide knew very little about Roe, but he could stealthily receive rich information from Kaneki to find out more about the girl. The hard thing was, however, that Kaneki was most likely extremely cautious and knew that there were news reports regarding Samael's disappearance floating around. To add on to that, randomly asking about his lover after staring at his phone for a long time would be literally asking for Kaneki to not trust him. Hide reluctantly decided to postpone getting more information on Roe. He could probably have a one-on-one conversation with the girl sooner than later.

Water from the shower turned off quitely. A few minutes later, Samael emerged from the bathroom, damp and clean. A white towel hung loosely around his defined hips which swayed shakily as he paced towards Kaneki. "Can I, um, have some clothes, please?" he asked in a quiet, polite voice. 

Kaneki nodded silently, dug through a drawer, and pulled out a pair of jeans, red boxers, black socks, a gray hoodie and even a pair of gray vans. He then casually tossed a stick of deodorant at the boy and threw a "shoo" gesture in his direction. Samael returned to the bathroom silently as he quietly thanked the white-haired ghoul. 

Hide decided that now was a good time to strike up a much-needed conversation with Kaneki. "Kaneki, who is Samael?" he asked quietly. Kaneki eyed the blond carefully as he flolded his belongings into a messenger bag that looked rather familiar to Hide.

He looked down and touched his chin nervously. "One of Roe-chan's old friends."

"What kind of friend punches their buddy in the face?" asked Hide.

"I guess one like Roe-chan." 

Suddenly the door to the bathroom creaked open and out stepped Samael, solemn faced and fully dressed. He strode to the door without even glancing at the two Japanese men and slipped through without a word. Kaneki followed right behind, and then Hide.

Outside in the dirt parking lot was a black Nissan Versa. Roe sat in the driver seat, tapping at what seemed to be a large, bricky phone.

Hide took his chance to talk to Kaneki once again. He missed his best friend so much. It made his heart flutter knowing that Kaneki was so close, yet, at the same time, it broke with the knowledge that he was so far. 

"Kaneki." 

Kaneki stopped straight in his tracks, his handsome face a neutral mask. "Yes?"

"What exactly is going on?" Hide asked softly, voice sweet and sympathetic Kaneki went silent for a few moments, eyes solemnly staring at the ground. A hand then unconsciously found its way to his smooth, round chin. 

"Roe-chan brought me here to show me what it's like." 

 _There he goes lying again,_ Hide internally sighed. Deep down the blond knew he was never going to receive a straight answer from his white-haired friend. Though it hurt knowing Kaneki didn't trust him, Hide wasn't the type of person to poke and prod at someone who was uncomfortable. Kaneki was a really good secret keeping bastard, but he was god awful at lying. Hide decided to leave Kaneki and the others alone and get his answers by simply observing them. However, Roe would be a problem. Hide knew she was an expert with hiding true emotions.

He thought carefully and changed the subject after they resumed walking to the midnight car. "Mm. So, how do you like it here? In America, I mean."

"It's nice I guess. But it kinda trips me out seeing so many white people," chuckled Kaneki. 

Hide snickered. "True. But at least you can fucking understand them? Google translate is fucking ass, you know. Buuuuuut the food is one hundred percent amazing," Hide said cheekily.

Kaneki touched his chin nervously once again. The solemn look returned to his handsome face. "Yeah..."

The two young men walked the rest of the way in tense silence. Hide was starting to wonder where Roe had gotten the midnight car when he spotted what had to be a dingy little car rental building conveniently next to the also dingy motel in which the love triangle had stayed in. It was painstakingly obvious that they didn't wish to be found.

The weather in the area could be completely reflected and compared to Kaneki's current demeanor. The air was humid and chilly. Gray clouds obscured the cheerful blue of the natural sky. Hide could see his breath visibly cloud as he exhaled lightly. 

What a depressing day. 

Kaneki's steps came to an abrubt halt on the dirt parking lot as hurried footsteps lightly pattered behind them. Samael must have poked along the way to the car, causing the two Japanese men to somehow arrive before him. He halted right next to Hide,  breath puffing out in hurried wisps. 

"Sorry... had to take a piss..." he huffed. 

A whistle erupted from the Versa. The drivers tinted window rolled down smoothly to reveal Roe's ice-blue eyes, accompanied by thick-framed glasses resting on the bridge of her delicate nose.  _She almost looks like a sexy librarian..._ Hide thought pervertedly. Suddenly, the realization that he came up with the mere subject made him hang his head in shame, cheeks dusted with lustful pink. Of course, the only one out of the three to notice his rather awkward half-boner was Samael, who smirked wickedly.

"Get in," Roe commanded calmly, voice easily taking on the grace of a natural leader. The two men, Samael and Kaneki, past and present lover, scrambled to get shotgun while Hide slowly realized that he was told to get in the car. He and Roe watched amusedly as Kaneki easily shoved Samael to the ground and victoriously hopped into the front seat. He smirked wildly and placed an excited peck on Roe's cheek. Defeated, Samael slumped into the back seat next to Hide. 

"Did you really think you could sit next to my girl?" Kaneki deadpanned, twisting his neck to stare back at Samael. Samael sneered hautily at him, readying a smart-ass comback. Instead, he was interrupted by the calm voice of Roe.

"Better not say that, or you'll be nutless," she said casually as she put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. Samael shut his mouth and sulked angrily. 

Of course, Hide had no idea what was going on, other than the threatening tone of Kaneki's voice. He sounded so much more grown up and mature in the foreign language. Hide longed to one day sound like a sexy businessman. Perhaps Roe would teach him a little bit of her primary language.

Say, Roe-chan," he piped up cheerfully. "You should teach me a little bit of that snazzy English of your, eh?"

She chuckled, full and vibrant. "Maybe one day. But I hope you know there's a whole new alphabet," she added.

"I'm a genius. I'll have it down within a day." 

Kaneki snickered. "More like a year," he teased.

"Hey! Tell me how long it took you to learn it then, kid."

"Almost a year. But that was the alphabet and reading." 

Hide smiled contemptuously. "Challenge accepted." 

Roe and Kaneki chuckled for a few moments before it died down to a comfortable silence. Soft instrumental music played through the decent stereo, calming and pleasing to the ears. Perhaps, Hide thought, this wouldn't be that bad of a car ride, even with slimy Samael tagging along.

 

 

The odd group drove in comfortable silence for about twenty minutes until finally an unbusy cafe popped up among the small town known as Marigold. Mallory hastily flew into an open parking space in front of the shop, simultaneously cutting off a particularly showy Camero. As the feisty girl cut the engine, an angry teenage boy stomped up to her, face lit up with driver's rage. 

"What the fuck was that, bitch?" He screamed childishly. 

Mallory stared him dead in the eye. Though she was easily a foot shorter than the kid, a tiny punch to his perfect jaw would set him in his spot; however, the half-ghoul wished to avoid conflict as much as possible. Not only was she minorly suspicious being with a kidnapped man and two Japanese natives, but her short stature and multi-colored hair didn't do a good job of helping her blend in.

So, instead of unleashing her icy fury on the kid, she calmly walked away as she pressed a button on the car keys that locked the car. Samael, Kaneki and Hide followed obediently, curiously peering at the dumbfounded teenager. Mallory didn't bother a glance behind her shoulder, knowing that the kid was a pussy rich boy with a big mouth and, contrarily, tiny dick. She smirked. After all, she always did enjoy exposing cowardly men by freezing them with her ice-cold eyes.

An oak door with an aesthetically pleasing window automatically caught Mallory's eye. Not only did the oak shine with cleanliness, but the window was centered  _perfectly_ in the upper middle of the door. She enthusiastically pushed into the shop, Kaneki and Samael chuckling in the background. The two men were extremely familiar with the icy girl's love of neatness and easily recognized her sudden adoration for the coffee shop. A small tinkle of a bell sounded once everyone was inside. 

"Jesus. I finally get fucking caffeine in my blood," Mallory grumbled to herself as she glanced around the homely cafe. The coffee shop was rather small, she thought, but deliciously attractive to the eyes. A sign, marked with chalk spelling 'Welcome to Flower!' and cutesy drawings, sat neatly at the entrance. The sweet scent of roasted coffee beans and vanilla filled the warm air. Tables with four cushioned chairs each littered the sides of the small room, none in the middle to reduce the number of accidents and spills. To Mallory and Kaneki's amazement, shelves of books dotted the papered walls in neat patterns. The cafe was, without a doubt, the Anteiku of North America. 

"Hi guys!" an eerily familiar voice boomed joyfully across the shop. "I'll be with you in a few moments, so please take your time and choose your seats!" the voice said.

"Thanks!" Mallory called out in polite acknowledgement as she and Samael shared identical looks of 'shit.' Meanwhile, Hide and Kaneki looked around the shop excitedly, discussing how nice it was that other cafes like Anteiku existed. 

Surprisingly, Mallory allowed Samael his choice in where to sit, probably because she hadn't been out for a long time. Her ice-blue eyes peered around the room in curious caution while she casually sniffed at the air. Her eyes widened by an almost invisible fraction. Samael had unconsciously led the group to a table in a corner and sat down lazily. Mallory planted her rear-end neatly into the chair on his right, Kaneki happily plopping down into a chair on her right. Hide sat in polite silence on Samael's left.

Mallory was getting rather annoyed with the awkward silence. Not only was it kind of  _weird,_ but it weighed uncomfortably heavy on her small shoulders. She sighed impatiently. "Why the fuck is no one talking?" she mumbled grumpily. Instead of a reply from her friends, however, a deep bass voice coming from behind her boomed in apology.

"Sorry about that, miss," a tall man, pale skin dotted with freckles, seemed to be the source of the booming bass voice. Yet, with blue eyes shining like warm water, the appearance of the man dismissed the second of fear Mallory had felt at the sound of him behind her. How did he get there so silently though? 

"My name is Luke and I'll be your waiter today, and if you need anything, don't be shy," the waiter, Luke, kindly assured the group with a smile. 

"Luke? Luke Bradford?" Samael whispered as he stood up to the same height as the blue eyed waiter. 

Luke eyed Samael with careful speculation. After a few moments, his handsome face lit up with warm recognition and he grinned. "Samael Remirez. Long time no see, old friend," he said as he and Samael executed the traditional "man hug"; the pat on the back clearly saying 'no homo.' Kaneki and Hide watched the two young mens' greeting curiously, eyeing the way they hugged each other. Perhaps American society was interesting after all.

"What've you been up to, bro?" asked Samael.

Luke chuckled and sighed. "Not much, man. Just achieving my dreams, as you can see."

"Heh, I can definitely see that, considering this-"

"Shut up, moron," Mallory hissed at Samael, interrupting the rather impolite string of words that almost left his mouth. Before Samael could pipe up again, however, she smiled sweetly and held out a tiny hand to Luke.

"Luke Bradford. I remember him as the kid who played saxophone and got fucked over by a girl named Tori, who I beat up for because of that," she joked as his large hand gently engulfed her small one and shook. Ocean-blue eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

A loud guffaw found its way out of the waiter's mouth. "Well if it isn't Mallory Roe sitting at the same table as Samael Ramirez... I would never have believed this if I ever heard it!" He exclaimed in excitement. "You certainly had my respect after pouncing on that wild broad!"

Mallory laughed, the sound ringing like bells in the air. "It's not like she was a lot to deal with," she said humbly, "but you know I'd do anything to help a friend. After all, it  _is_ bros before hoes."

Luke chuckled deeply, platonic affection gleaming in his warm, ocean eyes. "You, my friend, are right. So, how can I serve you guys on this rather cold day?"

Mallory glanced at Hide. The young man's chocolate eyes were dull with confusion. He looked as if someone had shoved a paper with a whole other alphabet on it in front of his face, which had basically happened. Deciphering a menu in a whole other language had to be somewhat difficult, so Mallory decided to step in.

"They have everything here that they have at Anteiku, Hide," the small ghoul said to Hide in soft Japanese. "There's no rush, so take your time, okay? I'll order for you."

"Thank you, Roe-chan," Hide smiled gratefully, eyes warm. 

Meanwhile, Kaneki glanced at the menu. It was basically the same as Anteiku's, save for the doughy biscuits and sugar glazed cinnamon rolls. Coffee art was apparently popular in America too. Different designs dotted the page of a menu, cutely swirling with mirth. Kaneki soaked in the words on the menu, silently taking in the beautiful words of English. Though most people would consider English to be a rather ugly tongue, its soft vowels and irregular spelling made it an overall adventure. Even by reading a simple cafe menu, Kaneki could better his reading bit by bit. 

"I'll have the shop sub and some hot chocolate, please," said Samael in a polite tone.

"Shop sub and hot chocolate," Luke murmured as he scribbled the order down on a notepad. "And for you, sir?" he asked Kaneki.

"Just black coffee, please."

"Yessir! And you, sweet Mallory?'

"My friend," she gestured to Hide, who waved in a friendly manner, "would like the turkey sandwich and latte with the rabbit art. And for me, I'll just have black coffee, please."

Luke scribbled more and came to a halt as he gestured politely for the menus. As he took two out of Mallory's hand, his head  _just barely_ nodded in the other direction, as if he were saying 'over there.' She nodded, just in the slightest, and recognized the pinch of desperation that clouded his ocean eyes. He then stode away with a gentle smile plastered on his handsome freckled face.

"I have to go to the restroom, please excuse me," Mallory said as she  squeezed between her and Kaneki's chairs. Kaneki eyed her with knowing while Hide and Samael snoozed sleepily, the cafe's homeliness creeping into their tired bones.  _Hopefully,_ she thought,  _everything is... normal._

 

Mallory's POV 

I knew Kaneki would understand the current situation with Luke. Not only did we give each other 'the look' right after walking into the café, but our ghoul instincts crawled uncomfortably in our guts. Mine, mostly in hunger, but as for Kaneki, he was just so damn cautious around others. I didn't blame him.

Especially our kind. Well, technically  _half_ of our kind.

Luke was a ghoul. Had always been one. He fit in  _perfectly_ with human society. I'd known the guy for years and not once did I ever suspect him. For fucks sake, we even ate lunch together with Samael in Junior High, and not once did I see him gag on human food. Luke and his family didn't stand out at all, and I admired them for it like kids admire their parents.

I waltzed casually to the restroom hallway where the waiter had beckoned. It was clean and smelled freshly of ammonia and other cleaning chemicals. Though the harsh scents of sanitary products stung at my sharp nose, I couldn't help but inhale deeply and be calmed by the familiar smell. Cleaning was an old stress reliever, and weirdly enough I found it fun.

Only a few minutes had passed before Luke arrived with a food container holding something and a deeply concerned look smothered on his kind face. 

"How?" he asked softly, voice gentle with genuine sadness.

The question, as vague as it was, already had a meaning to me. For the first time, a ghoul felt concern for me, asked me how I smelled like a human and a ghoul without trying to eat me. I smiled sadly.

"I had a run in with ghouls in Japan... and ended up having organs sewn into me," I whispered shakily. Hot tears threatened to spill onto my cheeks as I attempted to keep myself together. 

"I see," Luke breathed. Then, gazing down at me, he smiled sadly. "You know, you always smelled great as a human. If I wasn't the nice guy, I prooooobably would've eaten you," he joked.

I chuckled lightly. Luke had always been one to make light out of a situation that seemed hopeless, and joke even when things were cold and blue. He'd always been the quiet, polite type of guy who couldn't stand up for himself. An introvert, as you would call it. And even as his tall, semi-muscular form gently loomed over me, I could tell he was the same as always. 

"Still quite the jokester I see," I said as I punched Luke's arm. 

He recoiled in slight pain, hissing good-naturedly through his perfect teeth. "God damn, Mallory. Where'd you learn to punch so hard?"

"Maybe just a few self defense lessons," I said sheepishly. He chuckled, deep and bass, before recovering and standing up slightly straighter. A serious atmosphere filled the hallway, and I immediately stood up straight with my hands resting on my wide hips.

"Samael," he started quietly, "treated you like shit back then. I always had to listen when he... hit you."

"Yeah."

"And you killed Amgyne in revenge."

"He took something away from me by force and I was helpless. So I did the same to him," I stated blandly.

Luke crossed his arms and leaned against the papered wall. His face contorted into a deep frown of thought. I braced myself for the situation to get hairy, but the next second, I was being pulled into a bone crushing hug. I blinked in surprise. Then I realized Luke was crying as the tang of slaty tears wafted its way to my sensitive nose. Frozen, my mouth couldn't find the words to... say. I was utterly useless as an old teenagerhood friend cried helplessly on my tiny shoulder.

The weeping halted after a few minutes, and Luke retreated from my tiny body, eyes red and puffy. Clearing his throat deeply, he leaned against the wall once again.

"You see, Mallory... he was an abusive friend, also. Samael, I mean."

My breath caught in my throat. Samael, who claimed to love his friends so dearly, hurt and blackmailed them,  _too?_ Taunted, made fun of, hit, shoved, bullied his so called 'friends?' What the fuck kind of friend does that? 

At that point, freezing fury radiated off of my tiny body, and the only thing holding me back from killing Samael was Hide and the thought of my purpose for revenge. My fists clenched in held back rage, creating bloody crescent-shaped marks in my palm. Teeth grinding, I growled out a question to Luke.

"What... did the bastard do."

"Typical homophobic asshole," Luke muttered.

If possible, I was even more angry, because picking on someone for their sexuality was number one no-no in my books.

And I had always known Luke was gay. He told me in ninth grade after figuring it out himself. After many failed relationships with girls, it had seemed obvious to me that Luke was indeed attracted to men. So naturally, I took it upon myself to hook him up with someone, but that's a story for another time. 

So, being the good person that I was, I forced myself to calm down and allowed my icy eyes to melt. Tears, mostly of angry frustration, splattered onto my (probably red) cheeks. I felt the pleasant burn of healing in my palms as I huffed out a breath I'd been holding for some time. Luke and I stood in quiet until I got my shit together.

"So you don't blame me for killing Amgyne?" I asked quietly.

He shook his head slowly, pursing thin, pink lips. "I'm against needless killing but that bastard..." he grit his teeth, "truly deserves to suffer. And I don't know what you went through, Mallory, but I know the old you wouldn't have-- couldn't have-- done what you did to that girl."

"I was too soft for this ugly world back then. You gotta do what you gotta do." 

Luke's face turned grave, however. He gazed at me with mild irritation and crossed his arms like he was scolding a child. 

"You killed a CCG member, too," he stated in a cool voice.

"Yeah. Asshole tried to kill me," I said nonchalantly as I cleaned dirt from under my nails.

"You've attracted attention to the area, now. Do you know what that means?"

Really? Was he asking me that question? Tongue clicking in irritation, I stink-eyed Luke in an 'I don't give a fuck' kind of way. He sighed, already giving up, and picked the container that he had set down off of the ground. Inside was a hunk of... human meat? A thigh most likely, judging from its width and muscle mass.

"Look, Mallory. I know you're hungry. At Flower, its our policy to keep the area peaceful with as little ghoul attacks as possible. We help provide for those who dislike killing in exchange for help over here. So take this, and if you ever need something, we're here. But please don't kill anyone else."

Without a second glance, I snatched the container out of Luke's large hand, opened it with a snap and chowed down on the goodies (somehow I didn't get blood all over my clothes). A satisfied sigh escaped my blood covered lips as Luke hastily handed me a clean napkin. As I wiped gently at my lips, the tall waiter plucked the blood-filled container from my free hand and gestured to the entrance of the hall. 

"I still have customers to serve," he said cheekily.

"Of course, of course. But Luke... thanks for telling me everything. Well, and feeding me," I said as a hand reached up to scratch at my cheek in slight embarrassment. Sometimes it was too hard to hold myself back from going wild on my 'prey.'

Without a word, Luke jogged hastily towards the counter, where he began preparing our orders. 

What Luke had told me about Samael surprised me for some reason. How had I not known that I wasn't the only one who had suffered by his hand? How could I have been so  _stupid_ and selfish, thinking I was the only one going through Samael's abuse? I sickened myself. My selfishness, my naivety, my simple lack of thought for others.

As I wandered back to our table, I tried to figure out what punishment for myself would be best. After all, what kind of selfish bitch gets abused and doesn't see the signs of others receiving the same kind of treatment? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will actually build onto the story further on, but of course I do have some plot twists in mind. I also already have a part two to this series :')

**Author's Note:**

> Hide is still alive. I know it. I refuse to believe that this beautifully complex character is gone.


End file.
